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Is anyone worried about H1N1 yet?  I only see a handful of people wearing mask around town.  The majority probably think the outbreak hasn’t reached a critical point yet.  But that’s the way with us Malaysians.  We’ve traditionally never been big in taking preventive measures.  We always react only when it directly involves us.  Just like a few years ago when the haze was at it’s worst.  Everyone started wearing masks only when they felt the effects.

When H1N1 first hit our shores, the authorities had the balls to declare that Malaysia would be considered free of the virus if there were no new cases in the next 3 days and that’s what they did.  Declaring in our well known Malaysia Boleh pride that we were free of H1N1.  But when the cases kept coming in, they said all the cases were import cases, from people coming into Malaysia.  Malaysia was still safe as there were no local cases.

I don’t know about you but when Korea (or was it Japan?) first reported case of H1N1, I had already expected Malaysia will be affected.  And when Australia and NZ announced H1N1 cases, I definitely knew it was just a matter of time.  If countries such as Amelika, Japan, Australia dan lain-lain lagi are finding it hard to contain the outbreak, what makes you think we can?

I’m not looking down on the people who are from the healthcare industry, who are directly involved, the frontliners.  H1N1 is hard to detect as you don’t show symptoms until the third day of infection.  So you could be infected during the flight and airport checks would show no signs.  You go home, hug your children, give them free kisses and make love to your wife.  Then you go yumcha with your frens.  The next day you go to work and hug your secretary.  Then you give hi-fives all round to your colleagues.  How many did you come in contact with? :P

I’ve heard rumours (they are rumours unless someone can prove otherwise) of the frontliners falling asleep behind counters, slacking in their duties and about corruption in the checks.  We should really give these people some credit and recognition for what they are trying to do.  I would like to think people in healthcare as less incline to be corrupt then people in enforcement.  These people in healthcare are risking infection on a daily basis while carrying out these checks.  So let’s cut them some slack.

Todate Malaysia has 58 confirmed cases.  A handful of those are local transmissions.  What’s worrying is that schools now have confirmed cases.  It started with the closure of Jln Davidson, followed by the closure of Assunta.  At the end of today, classes in four more schools has been ordered to close.  Seri Cempaka, Sek9 Shah Alam, Wangsa Maju and Damansara Utama.

Now comes the point of this post.  Kiasu-ism.

Some parents instead of worrying about their children getting infected, they’re worried that their children will miss one week of school.  So much so that the deputy_principal has to ‘assure’ parents that their children’s education will not be interrupted and they would be able to catch up.  She indicated not all parents are ‘cooperative’.  Kakaka… we get the message.

I experienced first hand the kiasu-ism from one mother whose son is in one of the above schools.  I’m supposed to meet her later this week (remember the charity thingy?) but she called today to cancel.  She told me her son is in the class that was closed.

I asked her if she’s concerned about H1N1 now that there’s a confirmed case in her son’s school.  She starts ranting that she’s more concerned that her son is going to be missing his lessons while the rest of the students are not.  The school is not going to be closed, just that class.  She feels this is really unfair.  She says nowadays students can’t afford to miss one week of class and to make matters worst she can’t send her son to tuition classes as well.  "I’m really afraid he’s going to fall behind the other students now."  She then blames the parents who allowed the infected student to go to school, putting everyone else at risk.

It amazes me that in that 5 minute or so rant, the main focus was about her son missing his class and not on the possibility of him getting infected with the virus.

And that my frens, is how kiasu we’ve become.

I don’t remember celebrating Father’s Day with my dad when I was young.  I don’t think we ever celebrated it.  Only when I was a working adult did we have some sort of celebration.  I think it was my first girlfriend’s initiative to have dinner with my dad.  She also made me buy a cake.  My dad always wanted a daughter but got three sons instead.  I think that’s why he always had good relationships with my girlfriends.

After I got married and moved out, my brother would bring my parents out for dinner every Father’s Day.  In all the years that I have been married, I think I have only showed up for dinner three times.  I’m not a filial son.  I’m the worst kind.  One day I might get struck by lightning.  But yet, I still don’t have the heart to do anything.  Even more so now after my dad kena stroke and can’t really communicate.  Every time I’m back at my parent’s home, I’ll just greet him and the rest of the time I’ll just do my own thing.

I know there will come a time when he will no longer be with us and I will regret it.  And I will be reminded of all the times when I was young and all the things he did for me.  I wish my dad was young again.  I don’t know what happened to the relationship that we had when I was a young kid.  It got lost when I became a teenager and it just never felt the same again.

Yeah ok.  Happy Father’s Day.

This happened to me when I was about 15 years old.  At that age I was involved with the wrong crowd and some times would stay out and didn’t return home until my parents had left for work.  I would hang out at snooker parlours, illegal gambling dens and strip joints.  In some ways, I am glad that I went through those ‘yauleilongtong’ days.  It’s part of life’s many experiences for me.

I’m grateful that even though I met people involved with drugs, my parents had placed a strong enough foundation in me to never allow myself to ‘just give it a try’.  I also had a drug addict for an uncle and he caused my grandmother a lot of tears.  I think I’m the only one who knew about those tears because when I was a young boy I slept with my grandma.  My grandmother seemed like a very strong woman to many but at night in bed, she would some times cry and talk to herself about my uncle.  She would ask herself what she had done wrong.  So that left quite an impact in me as well.

Oh wow… that is not what I had wanted to blog about.  See how my mind is all over the place.  I started, wanting to blog about something else and went out of topic to drug abuse and my grandma crying.  Geez.

Anyway back to topic.

Except for another guy and myself, the rest of my gang of frens lived in _Sentul_.  In those days, the last available bus back to my area ended around 11pm+.  After that time there were no buses left.  Most times after whatever the main event was (whether it was snooker ka, some auntie strip dancing ka), my gang and I would go back to a fren’s flat.

It would be in the early hours of the morning and we would hang around a playground below his flat.  If there were some Indian fellas around, we would play football on the basketball court and we were loud.  Loud and vulgar.  Imagine it’s 1am and you have a bunch of thugs playing football below your flat while shouting vulgarities.  We had the police called on us once but they just asked us to go home.

When it was finally time to call it a night, I would go up to crash at my fren’s flat.  After a quick shower, a few of us would sit at the balcony and starting talking kok until one by one we would doze off.

On one such night, we ran out of cigarettes and had to ‘lalalililaptampong’ & ‘1-2 jus’ to see who would be the one who would go down to the 7-11 across the road to restock.  The unlucky one was me. 

After cursing my ‘1-2 jus’ skills and putting on my shirt, I went on about my task.  It was around 3.30am on a weekday.  The roads were deserted.  I picked up the ciggies and returned right after.  I entered the lift and pressed 9, the floor of my fren’s place.  When the lift was passing between the 4th & 5th floor, the lift suddenly stopped and the door started to open but could only manage a small gap.  Enough for someone to stick their head through.

I didn’t know what to do.  I started pressing all the buttons but got no reaction.  I could see outside the lift via the head sized gap but I wasn’t going to risk sticking my head out and the lift suddenly decides to work again.  I could see both the 4th and 5th floor.  The lift had stopped right between the floors.  My initial thought was that I had no choice but to wait until someone passed by and ask them for help.  But then again, it was almost 4am.  How long was I going to have to wait?  Apparently not long.

I heard panting.  More like a deep panting, the kind that a dog makes.  A very dark, almost black man stuck his head in.  The height was just nice for me to kick his head but I didn’t because I was freaked out!  I stumbled backwards into the wall.  He had these very round blood shot eyes as if someone who hadn’t slept for ages.  Even from the back of the lift staring down at his face, I could clearly see the red veins in his eyeballs.  He uttered in a sad tone, a very long "aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr".  He only did this once.

I didn’t say anything because I was scared shitless.  I swear I was 30 seconds away from shouting like a girl.  He stared at me and waved his finger in front of his face at me, as if to say ‘no, no’ and then stuck out his tongue and gave the lift floor a lick.  He then pulled his head away and left.  Or at least I think he left.

My reflexes were to quickly shut the lift door by repeatedly pressing the close button.  For some reason it worked and the lift started moving again.  As I watched the floor indicators slowly counting up to 9, I prayed hard that he wasn’t going to be standing right in front of the lift when the door opens.

When the door opened, I ran like a mad cow towards my fren’s place.  I told my frens about it and at first they thought I was pulling their leg until they realized that I was genuinely scared.  I felt safer in a group and we decided to go down to the 4th floor.  Nothing.

My fren who lives there doesn’t believes me coz he has never seen anyone matching that description.  Till today I still don’t know whether it was just a nutcase or it was something supernatural or whatever.  Or maybe it was the lift maintenance man and that’s how you get the lift to start working again.  By licking the floor.

I had actually forgotten about it until something similar happened tonight.  I got stuck in the lift between floors and the door slightly opened.  Someone did partially stick his head in but it was the security guard.  Staring down at him reminded me of that incident.  Thank goodness there was someone in the lift with me or else I would have screamed like a girl.  Or worst, what if my reaction was to kick the first head that I see.

The guard told me that some lifts do open a small gap to let some air in.  So now you know.

Someone mailed in her resume to us asking if we had any job openings.  I read through the cover letter and it made me laugh. 

_____________________________

Resimay

To hoom it mei kansern,

I am Russia student stardy part time in Malysia. I waunt to aply for job if ther is any job avalobel.  

I can Type realee quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..

I think I am good on the phone and I no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well. Certain women and all the menn.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety.

My salerery is open so we can diskas wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am wort,

I can start emeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.
 

hopfuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,

lotty

_____________________________

 

Funny right?  Seriously in today’s work environment, you need to be able to speak and write English.  At the very minimum, people should be able to understand you.  Her letter was just full of too many errors.  On top of that, it shows she doesn’t know much about software.  

I didn’t continue reading her CV but just flipped through it and saw she had included her photo.

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So I wrote her back.

Dear Lotty,

It’s OK honey, we’ve got spell check.  Can you start on Monday?

 

ps: That’s really an email someone sent me.  The title of the email was ‘If you are the prospective employer, what will be your response? Honestly’

A random post of things you probably find very mou liu.  I took my offline notes and combined it into this long post.  See I told you my butt is heavy.  Btw, pu-pu is jargon for tipu-tipu.

Super Power

A young punk asked me what is the one super power that I would like to have.  I told him that’s such a childish question but answered him anyway, in a very mature and dignified manner, with a slightly fake British accent, "Why… I’d like to jump like in the Jumper movie."  One minute I’m in KL and then *Poof!* I’m on top of the Eiffel Tower.  *Poof!*  I’m in Denise_Milani’s shower.  No more poofs. :P

Young punk tells me he’d like to have the ability to look inside people’s mind and influence them.  Like Greg_Grunburg’s character, Matt_Parkman in the TV series, Heroes.  He then gives me this stare as if trying to influence my mind to ask him why.  I ask why.  He says so he can influence every hot chick he meets to sleep with him.

Actually that’s a pretty good super power to have. :P

The great iPhone hoo haa

Both my partner and my youngest brother are iPhone users.  My partner won’t admit it (he’s a true blue Apple user) but I think he misses his previous HTC.  Once in a while when he’s unaware that I’m watching him, I would catch him cursing his iPhone.  "Stupid $%#%!"

My brother is not a true blue Apple user, not a tech savvy, internet surfing user.  He’s just a trend chaser and just likes to have the latest phones.  He told me he wished he hadn’t gotten the iPhone.  He wished he had done more research before lining up at the Maxis_centre with the rest of the world.  He told me that the queue at the Kepong branch was filled with lala chais and lala muis, who arrived in their heavily modified ‘wajalutions’ (Wajas modifed to look like Mitsubishi Evolutions).

He spent quite sometime trying to figure out how to copy all his mp3s and his gf’s photos over to his new phone.  He called Maxis and they weren’t much of a help.  They just told him to register with iTunes.  So he finally turned to me for help and I set it up for him.

A certain celebrity blogger said that the iPhone’s on-screen keyboard was fairly easy to use.  Now if you’ve never used a Blackberry or any smartphone with a qwerty keypad, I’d believe you.  If you have toothpicks as fingers, I’d believe you.  I find the keyboard to be such an annoyance.

Now another celeb blogger of a certain ‘nang’ company, once blogged about his iPhone.  He said he wished he had never bought it.  He listed some reasons why the iPhone sucked.  I agreed with him then.

Then one day, when one of his clients brought the iPhone officially into Msia, this celeb blogger changed his tune and sang praises of the ‘official’ iPhone.  Hello! Official or not, it’s still the same iPhone!  Of course it has 3G now but it still has the same 2mp camera, no mms, no video, cannot save email attachments, cannot transfer files via bluetooth and on and on and on.  So pu-pu man.  pu-pu is jargon for tipu-tipu.

I’d take a Blackberry (or even a HTC) over the iPhone any day.

If any of my readers are iPhone users, I just wanna tell you, the iPhone is the best phone in the world!!! Yea…. clap hand, clap hand, jump around sing song, scratch buntut. :P

Btw, if you want to own an iPhone and want it for free, you should try joining McD’s blogging contest.  http://www.mymcd.com.my/bloggercontest/howtowin.html.  I’d join not bcoz of the prize but just to see if they would like a completely sampat and mental post about their lunch (and services). Muahahahahaha.

Leng chai

Leng chai or leng lui.  That term is supposed to mean a handsome guy or a pretty girl, right?  But I think it’s become so common because people use it in a ’saja’ or pu-pu manner.  Example, when I’m dining at one of those char chan teng say Kim Gary, I wouldn’t call out, "Eksuse me waiter" or "Eksuse me miss".  I’d normally call out, "Eksuse me Leng Chai!" or "Eksuse me Leng Lui!". 

Just because I use the term ‘Leng’, doesn’t really have to mean I think that person is a leng lui or leng chai, correct or not?  It was used in a pu-pu manner.  A means of greeting someone.

Unless it’s used like dis, "Lei hou 7 leng lui ahhhh. Leng! leng! leng!", then it really does imply that the girl is really pretty.  Or like dis, "Adrian charn hai leng chai oooh".  That also implies that Adrian is very the hensem hensem.

So.  The other day I was having lunch with my partner and he went to order the food while I sat at the table.  The lady (probably in her late twenties) asked my partner in chinese, "Ah sai, eat what?"  I’m not sure what’s the definition of ah sai.  I think it’s boss?

When the food arrived, I ask the helper (either a Myanmar or Vietnamese) for an extra plate of chilli.  I assumed she understood chinese so I spoke to her in chinese.  She didn’t understand me but didn’t say anything either.  Instead she went back to her boss and told her I wanted something.  The lady boss came over to our table and asked me in chinese, "Leng Chai, what u want?"

My partner couldn’t believe what he heard, "WTF!? She called me ah sai but called you leng chai!? Blind or wat?"

I’m not perasan la.  I know it was used in the same pu-pu manner.  More like referring to the gender of a person.  A male is leng chai, female is leng lui.  Correct or not?  But of course in front of my partner, I had to bask in my moment of glory.  "Whatodo. People can only see my hensem face. It’s something I’ve had to live with for most of my life."  I so pu-pu hor? :P

At that moment, life just had to send the helper back with my extra plate of chilli.  And she asked me "Ini chilli ah, Uncle?"

Niamah!

The pharmacist

I seldom visit a doctor.  I normally go to my regular pharmacist.  For some reason I just feel more comfortable with her.  Cold, sore throat, cough, fever or kentut non-stop, she takes care of all my medication needs.  Some times it’s to stock up on some ‘pills’.

On my last visit over the weekend, I went to stock up again.  Normally I’d just tell her how many packs of _Postinor2_ I need.  This time she very sing muk and asked me "The usual?"  I said yes.  She passed it to me and commented, "Wah, very fast finish hor?"

I was taken by surprise by her comment and my brain couldn’t think fast enough to which I could only reply, "Yeah lor. I read it’s supposed to make my face more smoother and look younger but so far not much difference also."  Her eyes open big big and I walked away to pay at the counter.

Of course, I’m not taking the pill but eh, true wan you know.  I no pu-pu you wan.  Men who take the pill have smoother skin.  (but your breasts also become big in the long run) :P

Serious!  A few years ago school kids were taking pills to get rid of their acne problems.  It was reported in the media and they put up restrictions.  You couldn’t just buy it off the counter.  You had to give your name and IC number.  I no pu-pu you wan. 

Turning two

My partner’s kid, who is also my god son, turned two recently.  I was invited to the birthday bash and my partner told me to bring V along.  I asked him what about his wife, who is a friend of mine and also knows the mother of my children.  I don’t want it to be awkward for V or his wife.  He told me that he doesn’t keep secrets from his wife.  Pu-pu!

V tagged along.  It was awkward. :P

I remember it was 1998 when I got out of the lift of a building along Jalan_Raja_Chulan and saw a large group of people gathering by the roadside.  I crossed the road to get to my client’s office and stopped to see smoke coming out from one of the buildings.  There was a small fire.  I noticed this cute young lady standing close by and I told her I hoped it wasn’t her office that was on fire.  She said she hoped that it would burn to the ground and laughed. 

We exchanged business cards and got together for some drinks together with her friends later that week when I went to visit that same client.  My partner was with me at that time and I told him to tag along.  They didn’t hit it off but after a few more gatherings and dinners, my partner got ‘feel’ wor he said. 

After about a month, they arrived together to dinner holding hands.  3 years down the road, I was MC at their wedding.  Right off, they wanted a child but for some reason wasn’t succesful in conceiving.  When she finally got pregnant, it got into some complications and they lost the first pregnancy.

That’s all history as they’ve got a ‘cacing’ 2 year old now, who’s a handful to carry even for a seasoned toddler carrying expert like me. :P

The ‘commission’ dilemma

We were shortlisted by a potential client for a one year contract.  I was called to meet the head of marketing for negotiations.  He said my proposal of 105k was over their budget by 15k.  He wanted to negotiate.  I told him on the spot, done deal.  90K with a condition that they sign the contract within a week, or else 105k stays.  I was pu-pu of course.  My partner and I had already decided that they were a good brand to add to our portfolio and as long as we didn’t make a loss, we’d be very accomodating. :P

He was impressed that I didn’t need to go back to discuss.  I told him he was dealing with the Master of the Universe.  He could talk to me.

He immediately liked me and told me that he would champion us to get the contract.  His boss is the one who signs the contract but he is the one who picks the successful bidder because their web initiative comes under marketing which is led by him.  I thanked him and told him he would get a new proposal in a day.

On my way back from his office, I get a phone call from him.  He asked me if I wanted to have lunch but I declined as I had already reached KL.  Sensing hesitation in his voice, I asked him what it was that he wanted to talk about.

He pu-pu at first, saying times are hard la, bla, bla, bla but in the end asked me if I was willing to mark up the proposal to 140K!  He wanted a cut from the deal.  50K to be shared among him (GM) and his two managers, 30k-10k-10k.  Guaranteed the contract would go to us.

I’ve done plenty of such deals before during my employment days.  But those days, I didn’t feel the karma would fall on me because I always told my gwai lo boss about such deals.  And because he never objected, I took it as he was the one who authorized it.  It’s his signature on the contract anyway.

But honestly hor, I don’t believe in karma (dat much) hor.  So you know where I stand lor… muahahahahaha!  Eh, times are bad leh!  Need marnee for the divorce leh!  (Notice my chinaman business voice come out oledi.)  :P

My ‘use recycled paper, conserve energy, save the whales, change the world’ partner on the other hand wants to ask them to fly kite.  We do all the work, they buta-buta pocket 50k.  Technically, our work is covered by the 90k.  And it’s not really buta-buta becoz they did meet all vendors, evaluate each proposal and choose the winning one.  Oklah, quite buta-buta also lah.

So how? So how?

I don’t understand this.  How could someone allow a 3 year old to walk alone at 10pm at night, to his grandfather’s home, some 200 metres away!?  In this case, I feel the parents should be held responsible.

3-year-old kidnap victim found dead

IPOH: The body of a three-year-old boy, who was believed to have been kidnapped Sunday night, was found at the estuary of Kuala Bagan Tiang River, Bagan Serai, 120km from Ipoh on Monday.

Kerian police chief Supt Mat Fauzi Nayan said Lee Li Xuan’s body was found floating among tree branches at about 10am by villagers who then alerted the police.

Fauzi said the victim’s father, Lee Boon Chung, 25, had lodged a police report that a man kidnapped his son while he was watching a stage show at a garden near his grandfather’s house in Bagan Tiang at 10pm last night.

Li Xuan was said to have walked alone to his grandfather’s house from his home in Taman Damai, some 200 metres away, to watch the show.

Clad in a blue T-shirt and a red short pants, Fauzi said Li Xuan was said to have been abducted in a Proton Aeroback which was seen heading for Parit Buntar

No arrest has been made so far.

Those with information on the incident can contact Bagan Serai Police District headquarters at 057215222 or Supt Mat Fauzi Nayan at 0196666496. - Bernama

Report from theStar Online.