No one is good for nothing
There are many positives to take away from my wife’s ordeal, one of which is how my seven year old daughter stepped up to the plate. Ever since she was born, we’ve had maids. We’ve had three maids in total. I’m not a big fan of live in maids. I cannot walk around in my g-string. :P I prefer to get someone to come once a week to do the cleaning, etc. My kids are now so dependent on maids. They call on the maid to do everything, "Kak, change baju", "Kak, brush teeth", "Kak, give me my water". Deng, everything is done by the maid even simple things that my daughter should be able to do, she calls on the maid!
When my wife was admitted, the maid stayed with her. The first night, my kids and I crashed out on the living room. They slept on the sofas while I crashed on the carpet. The next morning my alarm rang at half past six but the kids were still asleep so I snoozed. I only managed to wake up after eight! That’s only because I heard my kids whispering. I jumped up and told them we were late for the hospital. They had to wash their faces and brush their teeth, change and we had to step into gear. To my surprise, they had already done so!
In the absence of the maid, my daughter stepped up to do those things herself and helped her four year old brother as well. After cleaning up, she even took out a coloring book and some crayons, told her brother to sit quietly so that he wouldn’t make too much noise and wake me up. While I took care of her brother, changing his pyjamas, etc. She took care of herself. She chose her own clothes and changed herself. On normal days, it would have been "Kak, tukar baju".
In the car, I was quite impressed it had been easier than expected to get them ready and out of the house. The reward was McDonald’s Breakfast on the go. I told my daughter, "See, today I found out another thing you’re good for". My daughter smiled, she remembered.
Sometime back my daughter had asked me, "Daddy, what am I good for?". I knew why she asked me that. My wife gets super cheesed off at my daughter because she keeps on losing her things in school; pencil cases, stationery, water bottles, spoons and even her text books. Often in anger, my wife use demoralizing phrases like "You’re really good for nothing!", "Sang kaw char siew ter mou kum laow (Give birth to a piece of BBQ pork also not so angry)!".
I don’t know whether it was part of her upbringing but I always object strongly when I hear her say those words. Everyone is good for something. Many times, we would end up having arguments. She feels I’m always protecting, siding with my daughter but that’s not it. I strongly feel those words should not be used on a child. It should perhaps be used on some of those in our beloved government. *ahem*
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I explained, "Sometimes mommy say things when she’s angry but she doesn’t mean it. What she wanted to say was that you’re careless and keep on forgeting your things in school. So next time you should remember to check that you didn’t leave anything behind".
"Oh. But then I good for something. What?"
"Well, for one, you’re good for hugging. :) What else do you think you’re good for?"
"Erm… sleeping! Erm…. coloring!"
"Hahaha. You’ll find out more as you grow bigger(older) and if I find anything else I’ll let you know"
oh… daughters.. when they grow up… theyre good for something else too.. hehe… okok im jk haha
my mom always tells me that “tai dou lei jao lao, sang kao char siew dou hou gor!”. pisses me everytime without fail
Reply : Damn! I hope my daughter don’t get a guy like u. ahahahahaa.
Well you’re old enough to know that’s not true but a young child doesn’t.
Comment by Ting Tit Lei — 30 August 2007 @ 7:53 am
thats a touching post, i see my brother’s kids in singapore also very dependent on the maid for simple tasks…hopefully they will step up when they need to later in life
Reply : I think a lot of family with maids, the kids will be dependent on them. Make full use of them mah. ahahaha
Comment by wuching — 30 August 2007 @ 8:20 am
U r a good daddy! Yes do prise u kids for their goodness but be firm in correcting their mistake! Have a nice day!
Reply : Dunno why at first glance ur “U r a good daddy!” looked like “Who’s ur daddy!” and I saw the words prise, goodness and firm, I thought it would be a horny comment. hahaha.
Comment by HORNY ANG MOH — 30 August 2007 @ 9:23 am
*cough cough*
I feel like a maid leh. sigh!
Reply : Mott, nevermind feel only. Maids are not so hot looking that they get sold to hamsup real estate agents!
Comment by mott — 30 August 2007 @ 10:32 am
Haha…reading this, reminds me of my husband. He doesn’t like live-in maids (minus the g-string part though) and the practical one, keeps a tab on me whenever I go insane. LOL..Anyway, hope your wife gets well soon.
Reply : I think men feel uneasy and there’s no more privacy. Feel embarass to fol (fart out loud).
Thanks for ur well wishes.
Comment by Shireen — 30 August 2007 @ 11:34 am
Awww, this is so sweet. I’m so proud of your girl… This reinforce my belief children can be responsible adult when circumstances required them to be so. :-)
You commented you’re travelling this weekend? Take care and you’re not worried there’ll be jam?
Hey, you can still surf with your h/phone what? I do miss your postings when your wife was hospitalized. hee hee, I’m just being selfish hor? lol
Reply : I heard the jam will be coming into KL (dunno true or not). A lot of KJ supporters r coming here to see him hoist the Malayan flag. :P
I’ll be bringing along my notebook. The problem is it’s hard to find wi-fi and most is dial-up but my last trip was last year. Hopefully things have changed.
Comment by helen — 30 August 2007 @ 1:02 pm
Oh, I forgot the most important part… about G-string. Dun worry.. you can always save it for the next bloggers’ meet. :-P
Reply : Walau eh, walk around in my g-string during bloggers meet meh! Sure my weblog will kena ban liao.
Comment by helen — 30 August 2007 @ 1:03 pm
WAh…damn touching…dad and daugther time….
When i was small rite…mum said things like disowning me…back then i dunno wtf is that…but as i grow older i know wtf does dosown means..i know she didnt mean that…
Once my dad scolded her for saying that word…she stop saying it after that
Reply : Wah, ur dad got ur back man.
Comment by pookyma — 30 August 2007 @ 1:30 pm
u seems like a good dad, i mean a modern dad who handles kid maturely and in a rational way…
ur kids are indeed lucky to hav u!
Reply : Nolar, that’s bcoz I only blog about the good things. :)
I’m the lucky one.
Comment by Nux — 30 August 2007 @ 1:49 pm
WAH, that’s exactly how I want to be teaching my offsprings in the future. My mom’s style was different, she would say, “jao di jiu mm choi a lap sap diu jap nyi jon loi”
Hakka for, “I shouldn’t have picked you up from that rubbish dump”
LOL, she’s joking when she say that.. =_= but I hope I won’t be telling that to my childrens.
Comment by Jonny — 30 August 2007 @ 4:54 pm
Kids are always losing things. sometimes it is the other kids who take it :( I am so glad things r back on track for u and yr family now. when i read abt the macho thingy u planned abt driving outstation..i am immensely relieved :) means u r back gila mode ..back to normal hahhaahha
Reply : Gila mode! Ahahaha. Thanks man. Everythings well. No need to dwell on the past liao.
Comment by Bengbeng — 1 September 2007 @ 10:15 am
Actually I think it does affect a kid’s upbringing to hear that your parents tell you that you are useless, you are ugly, you are stupid. I used to grow up feeling ugly and useless, but I have grown up of it and learn that nothing beats having self-confidence. Oh well, at least you are there to ensure your daughter, that’s the best. You are a great daddy!
Reply : You must have been really young then. Good thing is you’ve grown out of it and ur brimming with self confidence. :)
Comment by Princess Eileen — 3 September 2007 @ 12:13 am
I’m sadden by your entries and can’t help reading more and more… I’ve wet a few pieces of tissues (and it’s lunch time at work now)…
I pray that things gets better for you and your wife, but above all, I pray that things will be easier for your kids… At the age of 7, I’m sure all this are badly affecting your daughter, and I can’t help wondering how many sleepless nights has she been having, how many times has she have to cry herself to sleep… It brings back memories of my own experience, but always something I wish I would forget… ALWAYS!!!
Reply : Don’t be too sad. Things are looking up. :)
Comment by ShannonC. — 19 October 2007 @ 1:08 pm