Am I still a faithful husband?
Before I go into the post about the China doll I met in Cherating, I think this should be posted up first.
I feel I’ve always remained faithful to my wife. You might feel otherwise after reading this post. My own definition of being faithful is that I have never had sex with anyone except my wife after I married her. I have friends who feel that being faithful means that you provide for your wife, for your family but it’s okay to sleep around outside as long as it’s meaningless sex. As long as you’re in love with your wife and not with the person you sleep with, you’re faithful. There’s this guy I know who goes to a health centre near Midvalley three to four times a week for sex. It’s become such a norm for him that he considers it as a recreational activity like playing badminton or futsal. I prefer futsal because it’s cheaper. :P
You might not believe this but I’ve heard from women that they’re ok with what their husband do outside as long as they’re in the dark and their husbands still provide for the family! They sort of know when their husbands goes up north to Hatyai a few times a year that something is up. But they don’t confront their husbands. They’re in denial, "Maybe he really go for business trip leh". I’m friends with their husbands so yes it’s business and their husbands are the customers. :P Eh, please don’t whack your husband if he goes a few times to Hatyai ar. I’m just saying my friends are the ones who go up north for some sexciting action and not everyone.
Now that I’ve sold to you how unfaithful some husbands are, what about myself. After marriage, I’ve never had sex with anyone except my wife but my arms have been around a few women and some have even sat on my lap. So can I still consider myself as faithful?
Some of you know that I used to work for someone and my work involved a lot of entertaining clients. Some clients are simple. A dinner and the deal is closed. An evening of the Pilharmonic orchestra and it’s a done deal. But sometimes a client comes along that requires you to go an extra mile.
My first such client was a 37 year old IT Vice President of an insurance company. It was a Friday night, my gwai lo boss and myself had dinner with the client at a place in Wisma Lim Foo Yong called Carmen’s. During dinner, we barely touched on business when a friend of the client joined us. The friend was in his early 40s and he was the Managing Director of an IT company. Once the MD joined us, all the talk was just on women. "That waitress is hot looking", "Those ladies at that table are very hot indeed". The focus then turned to my boss and what he thought of Malaysian women. Whether he had "sampled" any. My boss said he had not (liar liar pants on fire!). They were delighted, "Oow, then you must join us after dinner. We are going some place very interesting".
After dinner, we went to a karaoke joint somewhere in Taman Desa. I was glad because I would then have the opportunity to dazzle them with my soulful voice when I do my version of Richard Marx’s Right Here Waiting for youuuuu…. I’m sure after hearing me sing, the client will sign the contract. But they weren’t there for the singing.
We were ushered into a VIP room, bottles of overpriced alcohol were served and then about 7-8 young women joined us. Some of the women called the client by his first name which meant he was a regular customer. The women sat between each of us. I only found two of them to be quite the looker, the rest were just average looking. The two girls that sandwiched me, one was a Chinese from East Malaysia, I later found out she was a student at a local college. The other was a Malay from JB. They said I was extremely shy. I guess they meant I wasn’t all over them like the client and his friend. I was young then and I had also just been married for less than a year!
 |
Over the years I’ve had my share of entertaining clients in this manner. I’m no longer shy. I’ve put my arms around the women. I’ve had some women sit on my lap. I’ve seen some wild things. I’ve even been made offers to go for "supper". Some of these women, want to earn some extra income so they will follow you for supper and sometimes sex afterwards. I’ve had supper together with the clients and the women. But my day ends after supper. Although I’ve been tempted, I’ve never had sexual relations with those women.
My wife knows I entertain clients and that it’s part of my job. I’ve told her before that I’ve never had sex with those women. My wife doesn’t have confidence in me. Once we were in Renaissance Hotel, two women were on their way to work in the nightclub there and one recognized me and came over to say hello thinking that I was going to entertain clients there that night. My wife came out of the ladies and saw two hot women with their make up, hair made up and all dressed up to kill. I told my wife who they were and she didn’t believe that I could resist temptation from those kind of women. She says "Peen cek mao mmh sek yee keh (which cat doesn’t eat fish wan)". So I bribed her. The next big deal I closed, I bought her an expensive watch. :P So she doesn’t have that much a problem with me entertaining anymore but still she’s afraid I might give in to the temptation. She’s an extremely unforgiving person so there will be no forgiveness should I make a mistake. There will be no staying together for the sake for the children. Heck, she still brings up old flings I’ve had before we were married!
But anyway, since I’ve got kids now and I don’t have to answer to anyone nowadays, I don’t entertain that much anymore.
To me if I were to be unfaithful, I would have to have fallen in love with someone else. Some woman would have captivated my heart in such a way that I would give up what I have now. In that case, I would be honest with my wife.
Anyway do you think that I could still consider myself as a faithful husband? Your honest comments are welcomed.
you are faithful no doubt about it
Reply : Yeah, but it doesn’t stop the missus from getting pissed. ahahahaha.
Comment by wuching — 4 September 2007 @ 10:39 pm
hahaha i think its only natural that females feel threatened and insecure.. i gave up some college girls to get back with my ex whos now in sec school and sometimes she still tells me that shes feeling insecure. what else does she want me to do, give her my dick while im away and get it back from her when we meet each other? haha
Reply : Bro, sometimes ah, ur comments are just farking hilarious!! Ahahahaha!
Comment by Ting Tit Lei — 4 September 2007 @ 10:40 pm
Haha, how come the guys always claim they are the “exceptional one” and the rest of the guys will definitely go get the sex when entertaining clients? Muahahaha… I am not accusing or pointing finger at you adrian. It is just merely pulling your leg :P
One year plus in Shanghai I am exposed to all kinds of mess-up relationship. I know girls who sleep with married man, married man who sleep with girls when working outstation, people in relationship who goes out for one night stand and etc (name it and possibly I know someone like that)… And indeed a lot of guys tell me that just “keep one eye open, one eye close”, coz guys are guys and they will have sex when a hot woman is in front of them. Else they wont be “a man”.
But I am sure they are many guys who beg to differ & do exist, but let me see around 1% of the man population? Haha, sorry for the ranting…. And to answer your question….
You are a faithful husband…. (till date) :P Keep it up, always keep your kids in mind. Kekeke… Have a nice day!
P.S. Becareful of a jealous missus, KKJ in state!!!
Reply : Yes, a lot of men do sleep around. Some then blame it on their wife for not satisfying their needs or that their marriage is rocky. But I also know there are many who brag about their conquests but in actual fact nothing happened. They just want the fame from their comrades.
I also have friends who prefer go for drugs over sex during entertaining. So it’s not just sex, sex, sex for all men. Sex can’t solve their problems.
It’s different if a hot woman has the hearts for me, but in my case it’s paying for sex. I haven’t reached the stage that I’m so desperate to get some action until I have to pay for it…. yet.
I think if you’re single then you should sow your wild oats, date as much women, have a healthy sex life, etc. Some point in my life I made a decision to settle down. I got married, I entered a vow. And to be completely honest at this point in my life, it’s about the kids more than my wife. Sad but true.
I also don’t want to lose my KKJ. I love to point and shoot when I pee. Muahahahahaha!
Comment by Princess Eileen — 5 September 2007 @ 9:27 am
My hornest comment is U r a very very faithfull husband with a very very orbidient ‘bro’! ( in a very very small voice )I think u r also a very very ‘orbidient’ husband ( I think u know what I meant )sorry if I offended u by this comment! Oh I still look forward to the china chick entry.Have a nice day!
Reply : My heart is faithful but my “bro” doesn’t want to… Ahahahaha! It’s not about being obedient. Being obedient and faithful is different. I have friends who listen to their wifes but sleep around behind their back. You can be obedient to ur wife but still be unfaithful.
Comment by HORNY ANG MOH — 5 September 2007 @ 9:29 am
If ur faithful how do u explain all ur mistresses. =)
Reply : What mistresses? Where got? Hahahaha… very funny ah u.
Comment by Justin — 5 September 2007 @ 10:22 am
I’m really a country bumpkin.. in the business world, you do need to entertain hor? I thot all those yeng chau bossy stuffs are found only on TVB series. lol
It’s a hard competitive world hor… ?
I say you are a good husband. The scary thing is, if you go to these places often enough, you sometime lose your heart to somebody else. Not that you’re looking for it, just that romance will come knocking.
You are a good man. :-) My husband is also a good man. I swear I never believe men can be good (after my first marriage ended) until I met my hubby. Diu, he don’t even watch porn because of his Lord… I’m speechless.
All the best to you! lol
Psst, all the lap sitting were you ever tempted? Do you just ignore it or do you really have to fight the urge to stay faithful? Just curious..:-P
Reply : I can’t say for the other industries but for the IT industry, entertainment is one of the sales activities. Some companies have a large sales & marketing budget to cater for such entertainments. Like my ex-boss says, “In Europe, we could go to prison for influencing the decision maker by building such a relationship. But in Malaysia, business is conducted based on good relationships. Whatever you’re selling is secondary”
I think I’ll lose my savings more than my heart. Those women are not cheap to maintain u know.
I’m happy for you. Your husband is a good man indeed. So if he doesn’t watch porn, u must be the one who dictates during kamasutra sessions. hahahaha.
Tempted many times. There is no ignoring it lah, I’m not gay u know. How to ignore when my ‘lil bro’ goes “Pweet, lenglui!” Have to fight the urge.
There are many things I didn’t share in the post. Many married men who go to these places are happily married u know. To them this is just harmless sex. They will not give their heart easily and loose what they have at home.
Also, I was already born again but I had back slided. Even tho I had left the church, the relationship with the Father doesn’t end. He calls us to come back to him. I just chose to ignore his voice. And maybe that’s what kept me from doing it in those days. Maybe I should put up a new post about it.
Comment by helen — 5 September 2007 @ 10:29 am
i think you have made a good attempt at trying to be honest and to resist the urge. since you asked, i’d say that ommission is the best policy. any positive acts such as putting your arm around other women may not invite my approval.
but, i do not have the right to be a critic… in your world, such ommission may be scorned upon.. i have to say, your situation is a stciky and difficult one…
if you want to seek advice…maybe you should seek the Lord back…and He will keep you honest… of course, it depends whether you believe such faith or not…
Reply : Hi co_mics,
I agree ommission is the best but I was at a time in my life that I chose to ignore my faith. I also married a non believer.
My post was not to ask for advice, just for opinions on whether a man can still be considered as faithful if he doesn’t sleep with other women but is involved in such entertainment. I am quite clear on where you stand and I respect that.
Appreciate your comments. Thanks.
Comment by co_mics — 5 September 2007 @ 4:31 pm
Hello, my name is cat too. and those other female species are fishes.
That’s what I get all the time too. WTF is with sleeping around? How hard is it to be faithful? Just don’t get into the situation in the first place.
Anyhow, women don’t believe that. They think that once they’re on your lap, then it’s strip and poke time. Seriously, temptation too much to overcome? That’s a joke right?
You’re my ROLE MODEL!!! and a great living proof ;)
Reply : Hahaha.. why u so angry? Women will be possessive when they find a good man.
Comment by Jonny — 5 September 2007 @ 11:11 pm
gonna be straight to the point.. of cos faithful la.
Reply : Serious ar… somehow all the men have the same opinion, only the women think differently. Hahahaha
Comment by zewt — 6 September 2007 @ 1:12 am
Hmm..interesting. As a person, to me, sex can be impersonal. Esp if you’re paying for it. Strictly business, nothing personal.
As a wife.. funny enough, I have the same thoughts. B4 we got hitched, Mr.T hinted to me, that his buck night might not be..”good clean fun”. I told him, as long as it’s just physical..I don’t care. Ended up, not doing anything. Now, because he still has to entertain, I still don’t care. I really believe in this “give a man a chain long enough, he can hang himself with” saying.
If he decides to stray for whatever reason, I just leave him and take his two (plus one more) precious gifts away. Too bad for him, and he knows it. It does help that I’m financially secure..that’s why I can say all these things.
That all being said, if you touch touch here… aiya..go ahead la. After all, if a married woman tells you she had NO sexual fantasies about her office boy who is a hunky looker…she must be mother theresa!
OOPS!
HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
Reply : Ahaahahahaa. (Laughing at ur sexual fantasies thing)
You brought up a good point about the financially secure part. I don’t know your kids age but my daughter tells me that if I get a new mommy, she will follow her current mommy and leave me. :P
Comment by mott — 7 September 2007 @ 12:36 pm
Wah Mott’s comment…was laughing like mad reading it…
Uncle Adrian this is the second BEst post to em after the virginity thingy…
Dude ur fucking loyal…if me…i might be tempted to go for some action…Well maybe coz i’m still damn young…Btw tak cukup umur to bet yet…
It’s good that ur wife feels insecure means she fucking care for you alot man…All guys will say that you are a loyal guy..but women don’t because great minds think alike…
It’s just a joke ladies..am no sexist like that sohai Jasin and Kinabatangan MP’s
Reply : U’re young so got nothing to lose. But if u’re a family man then the stakes are higher liao.
Comment by pookyma — 7 September 2007 @ 2:44 pm
since u’re not my husband it’s okay. But if u’re my husband, you’re already dead.
Reply : I respect how u feel. Eh but what if he looks at another woman? Will die or not?
Comment by sasha — 7 September 2007 @ 9:50 pm
you’re considered 80% faithful :P
Reply : Your comment made me lol. I shall use that phrase next time I get caught. “But dear, at least I’m 80% faithful”. Ahahahahaha. :P
Comment by cindy — 10 September 2007 @ 9:13 pm
You bribed your wife with an expensive watch? And she bought it?? Liddat also can?? :D
My husband can be very ‘jovial’ when he deals with women. But I have enough trust in him not to cross the line. In your case, I will agree with zewt.
Reply : Expensive watch and a lot of reasoning, “I entertain only, no sex, no sex. China doll where can fight with ur beauty” ;)
Comment by kat — 13 September 2007 @ 1:21 pm
I think you are talking about sexual infidelity vs emotional infidelity. To you, emotional infidelity means you are REALLY being unfaithful to your wife but not the sexual physical one but kudos to you for drawing the line lah. However for those who don’t (draw the line I mean) one type of infidelity can easily lead to another.
Faithful or not? Hmm… thats a tough one. If you do the entertaining because you have to or you would lose your job but you would rather not then I suppose that makes you faithful.
You drew the line.. but at where… lap sitting, raba raba, cium cium? To me sit on lap and put hand around shoulder should be where the line is drawn to be considered faithful. Haha. More than that is a grey area even if you don’t go all the way.
Another interesting point you mentioned. You said
“And to be completely honest at this point in my life, it’s about the kids more than my wife. Sad but true.”
I think in most cases, its the kids which stop the man rather than the wife so its not just you. Sad but true.
Reply : Yes, I totally agree with you. I didn’t go into details but if I were to put my hands all over another women’s breast for my own sexual enjoyment, then I consider that as being unfaithful.
Yes, sad but true. Many men I’ve talked to say the same and women stay with an unfaithful man for that same reason as well.
Comment by mumsgather — 13 September 2007 @ 4:55 pm
U are considered gei faithful lor….
The problem is most men think they will never be caught. That’s the biggest mistake they can make.
Reply : Gei only ar? Ha ha ha ha… Would u say the same if it was ur hubby?
Yes, u are right. They think their wifes will never find out. But I know of some men who don’t care if their wifes found out. And that’s an even bigger problem.
Comment by king's wife — 13 September 2007 @ 9:24 pm
Emm..tough to comment, is depend on the line both husband and wife drew.
As a women, I don’t think that women like to share their private property with others. If she does, properly she not loving it anymore, then man shall get the alert signal.
Reply : Very good comment. I agree with you on women don’t like to share their property and if she does, she probably doesn’t love it the same way anymore.
Comment by Rachel — 15 September 2007 @ 11:02 am
How would you feel if that lap sitting touched all over woman is YOUR wife??
Reply : I didn’t get what u mean but I will give u my 2 cents on how I feel.
I will object strongly if my wife works in these places and sit on another man’s lap for the money.
I will not object if my wife does entertaining and goes to a male stripper club where the male stripper sits on her lap, where my wife is the customer and she grabs his ass, etc. If she has sex with these men, then I will object.
If my wife has sex with another man whom she has fallen in love with, then I will not object but it would be best if we separate. In that case, there really is no point to object as she doesn’t love me anymore anyway.
Hope I got what you mean.
Comment by Comatose but not dead — 18 September 2007 @ 9:25 pm