Remember, remember, remember
Last Sunday, my good friend John had breakfast with his wife and kids at a cafe near his place. When the kids were done with their breakfast, they wanted to roam around to look at the CNY decorations that was setup nearby the cafe. While the kids were roaming around, John and his wife continued sitting at the table, drinking their coffee while going through their newspapers and magazine.
John’s wife suddenly went sentimental on him. She told him about the other day while she was driving from work, she recalled how things were when they were younger and in love. "I remember how much in love we were. Remember how we used to hold hands and how you would use your thumb to rub my hand? You said it was your way of saying I love you without actually saying it. I remember how you used to do it when we were with family or with our friends and I would look at you and know what you wanted to tell me. Those were the good old days."
John gave her a curious "Yeah….."
"Remember how you used to kiss me even when we were out in public. Remember the ‘naughty’ things that you always asked me to do but I was always shy to do?"
"What naughty things?"
"Remember One Utama? While we were waiting for the lift near RHB Bank?"
"Oh… we were young and foolish lar…"
"Remember all the times when we were driving back late at night and you would take my hand *censored*. Remember how I used to give you a *censored* while you were driving? I can’t believe I did all those things then. I was so innocent."
"Well you can do it afterwards too if you want… I drove what." :D
"Hahaha..fatt mung lar lei! (Dream lar you)"
"I also remember how whenever I was going to spend a night at your place, you will always try to go buy a box of milk before we go back to your place. And ….." As John’s wife continued, his thoughts turn to V. How he is doing the same thing now with V. Whenever John is going to spend the night at V’s apartment, he would sometimes buy some milk. He felt sorry for his wife but he was not sorry for what he had with V.
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"Nowadays, we just have sex and that’s it… I used to love how you would ’spoon’ me (after making love) and how you would hold me and kiss me on my shoulders…"
John remembers the intimate times they spent together in his room, in his parent’s home. Those images in his head are quickly replaced by more current ones of him doing the exact same thing to V. How he loves to spoon V and kiss her on her shoulders and whisper sweet nothings into her ear, "Can you feel my heart next to yours?", "I could lay like this here next to you forever.", "I wish the nights were longer so that I could just lay here with you."
John snaps out of his thoughts as his wife attacks him. "How did our relationship become like this? How come you’re not loving anymore? Why can’t you be like when we were dating or when we first got married?"
John became annoyed. Annoyed that she was putting the blame on him. He wanted to give her a piece of his mind. He wanted to tell her off, "All the shit you’re doing is putting me off! That’s why! How can I be loving when you constantly make me tulan!" But he didn’t say it. He kept it to himself. He accepts that he is partly to blame but so is she.
He just told her, "I accept that I’ve changed. But so have you. How do you expect me to be loving when you are no longer loving yourself?"
John’s wife called the kids and called for the bill.
~
John isn’t blaming his wife alone for what’s happening to their marriage. He definitely has to shoulder some of the blame. His wife has to accept that she is also part of the problem. She can’t just expect and want him to be loving again but not try to change her ways. Even if John becomes the loving, caring and sensitive man he once was again, how long can he last before the next unreasonable outburst from his wife.
There’s also a third party involved now. V doesn’t want to be the reason for John’s marital problems and to be honest, she is not. His marriage was already suffering before he bumped into her a year ago. But as long as she wants to be with John, she is involved in all this. What does V want from John? What does she want him to do? What did she ask of him? That will have to be in a future post when the time is right to share.
I know what V wants…
Eh, cannot tell in public lar…
At the point when Mrs. John called for the bill, I bet her heart must have bled… Bleeding Love? Hehe… heard of this song? Neh, quite frequently played on MixFM ;)
ps: Wah wah.. while driving, you were *censored*… can drive straight ar? :P
pps: Kung Hei Fatt Dai Choy!
Reply : Cannot tell in public mai send me email lor. ;)
Bleeding love? So is that good or bad?
Why cannot drive straight? She just give me a 1 ringgit note to pay toll, cannot ar? ;)
Comment by angel — 5 February 2008 @ 2:05 am
Wah wait, forgot to interview u tim… I mean, interview John.. got a few question marks…
- What’s the milk for?
- What happened at RHB Bank?
Reply : The milk thing I’ll tell u when u tell me what you do for a living? :P
At RHB Bank, my wife *censored* and I *censored*. Oledi censored, you ask some more… how to say.. Next time send me email mah… :P
Comment by angel — 5 February 2008 @ 2:19 am
Complex stuff. Would V be a long term solution? There are a few books on how to salvage a stagnating marriage which are quite good, that is if John want it salvaged at all. But when a third party is involved, the will to do that normally is reduced. And how would John’s kids think?
Ay, this blog better than the korean dramas la. Btw, John forgot to take a picture of what breakfast he had.
Reply : I don’t think V is a solution at all, long or short term.
John did take pictures but he forgot to pass it to me. :P
Comment by hflee — 5 February 2008 @ 7:39 am
I guess sometimes ego made her not want to take the first step? But I also guess it’s a little too late now for patching things yeah… Like what would happen to V? But seriously, no matter how V is not the cause of the marital problems, she would still be blamed when all this comes out in the open wouldn’t it? Imagine what Mrs John would say towards V, how Mrs John won’t even realise that the problem was the one that encouraged John towards V and not the other way round… Somehow, poor V…
Reply : You are saying and asking all the right questions. The same questions John is asking himself.
Comment by ShannonC. — 5 February 2008 @ 9:37 am
Wahhh.. how come all the things you do my hubs oso do wan?? They teach guys these things during sex education issit?? :P
I think I did what you did at RHB Bank, except I did it in the South China Sea at Cherating… heehee..
Reply : Huh? Your hubs also buy milk? Wah… u r a really lucky woman. ;)
oooo… I love Cherating… wah, so romantic lar u & ur hub.
But ar, South China Sea can withdraw money meh? That’s what John did… Kakakakaka.. Just joking. :P
Comment by kat — 5 February 2008 @ 1:38 pm
See? Today I laugh soft-soft… heehee..
Reply : Wah… u so ‘cun’ when u laugh like dat. :P
Comment by kat — 5 February 2008 @ 1:39 pm
That was a good opportunity for John to have a serious discussion with his wife, but unfortunately wrong place. But does John really want to reconciliate with his wife? Looks like he is having the best of two worlds now - a woman to love and kids by his side..
Reply : But it still hurts sometimes. Sometimes he wish he was with V but he can’t bcoz of family obligations. The kids should come first. How long can V be patient with him? When she needs her man but he declines bcoz he has to do something with his kids. She says she understands but he knows there are times when she’s hurt.
Comment by kat — 5 February 2008 @ 1:44 pm
We all changed after having kids. It takes 2 to make the marriage work.
Reply : I agree.
Comment by Mama BoK — 5 February 2008 @ 2:01 pm
eh why suddenly John become ur friend? ehehe I wan to see V’s pic. wanna see how hot is she. U can secretly send to my email =P
Reply : John to lazy to start new blog mah… :P
V’s picture is private. Only John has it. I dun have. I got Edison Chen’s wan u want or not. Kakakakakaka.
Comment by littlepolaris — 7 February 2008 @ 2:21 am
ok .. read until here oh.. “spoon ar” meaning.. u drink milk mouth to mouth lor.. issit ??
milk taste better ma..
anyway.. guess ur wife is trying to tell u can we be like last time.. ops i meant JOhn.. but now John’s heart already got V very difficult..
btw hor.. V is single rite ?? John should look for a marriage woman which is lonely .. then mai mut si dou mou lor..
u dont need to felt bad and the other party oso dun need ..
Reply : Nolar, Spoon as in the sex position lar… google it lar..
Huh? I dun get how it would be ok if she was married and lonely? Both will still feel bad rite?
Comment by janicel — 10 February 2008 @ 9:19 pm
I said.. LONELY din I ?? If Her Marriage no problem oso she wont be lonely lah .. hai mai ?? then felt wat Bad jek ?? LOl.. me so bad hor..
Reply : I think will still feel bad wan lar… kids leh… what about the kids… if it was u? Let’s say u’re lonely and involved with another married man, I think you would still think of what’s best for ur kids. And bcoz of that, you’d probably feel guilty. No meh?
Comment by janicel — 12 February 2008 @ 9:40 am