Toy Soldiers, 7-Up and Sex
Here’s what I didn’t get to finish from the previous post. It’s another one of those confession type post on my own life. If you have kids you should perhaps read it so that you know what could happen.
When I was young, my parents never told me any Wolfman stories. They never discussed sex with me. In those days, whose parents did? Did yours?
The only advise that I could remember was from my mom who said "Don’t get anyone pregnant. Wear a condom." But by that time, I was already a young adult and old enough to bring girlfriends home. Unknown to my mom, I was already exposed to sex way before that.
However, my mom did have a major effect on me at a very young age. I was about four or five years old. My mom was very good friends with a close colleague of hers who I called Uncle Lim. Uncle Lim was close to both my parents. He would sometimes join us for ‘jalan-jalan cari makan’ on the weekends. When my dad bought a new car, he came over and spent evenings with my dad talking about the car.
He also took a liking to me because he was still young and single and obviously didn’t have any children yet. He would buy toys, colour pencils, colouring books, simple stuffs for me often. Because of that I kinda liked Uncle Lim.
There was once my mom’s company organized a trip to Genting Highlands and spouses and their children were invited. Unfortunately the trip clashed with my dad’s schedule because he had to go outstation for some training. My dad then suggested that we hitch a ride from Uncle Lim.
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One late afternoon, Uncle Lim sat me down on the chair in front of the make-up table and asked me to be a good boy, asking me to play my toy soldiers and to not look behind. My mom warned me to not look behind or else I would kena beat.
My mom and Uncle Lim then jumped into the bed behind me and had sex.
Every time my mom moaned out loud, I would look up into the mirror towards the bed, hoping she was calling me to say that it was ok to move now. Whenever I looked up, I could catch glimpse of them doing it and I would very quickly look down at my toy soldiers. They were completely naked and didn’t care about covering themselves up with the blanket. I caught glimpse of Uncle Lim on top of my mom, Uncle Lim on his side thrusting his hips into my mom, with his hands fondling my mom’s breast. It was a horrifying sight for a five year old boy.
I didn’t fully understand what was going on but I sense it was wrong. I was so horrified and so scared I wanted to cry. But I didn’t.
I don’t know how long it went on but in the middle of it I felt thirsty. I kept on swallowing my own saliva until I couldn’t stand the thirst. I turned around and spoke in a cowardly tone because I was afraid that I had turned around when I was not suppose to, "Mommy… I want to drink water…"
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The moaning started again. I held the toy soldiers in my hand. Taking sips from my 7-Up once in awhile. That’s all I remember. I can’t remember when it all ended.
Back home when my grandmother was looking after me during the day, I would lay on the floor and start thrusting the floor. My grandmother would ask me "What are you doing!?" I would tell her I was doing what Uncle Lim did to Mommy when we went up to Genting.
That day when my parents came back from work, my grandmother told me to show my parents what I did and I would lay on the floor imitating Uncle Lim. When my parents asked me what I was doing, I would tell them I was doing what Uncle Lim did to Mommy in Genting. I don’t remember if there were any arguments between my parents. But they’re still together today.
Not long after my brother was born. My brother doesn’t take the image of my father like me or my youngest brother. He’s also different in character. Sometimes I do wonder if……
I’ve never told this to anyone other than my first girlfriend, my wife (who betrayed my trust in her by telling all her relatives!) and now you guys (and perhaps the whole world wide web). :P
I grew up hating my mom. Whenever there were friends who came to visit, my mom would always say that a woman should always keep a tight lease on her man if not the man would tend to be unfaithful, making a reference to my dad. I hated that.
I grew up causing my mom a lot of heartbreak and tears. Once I even threatened her with a knife. My mom probably thinks I don’t remember what happened in Genting but I do. I always wanted to know why she did it but never asked. But now I don’t need to know. My mom is already in her 60s. It doesn’t matter to me now. But whenever I see that pack of green plastic toy soldiers, I’m always brought back to that memory.
I don’t know if that experience screwed me up and because of that I’m sot-sot dei. But it did have an effect on me. Perhaps it’s because of that experience that my sexual desires where ignited at a young age.
When I was about 9-10 years old (I think), I slept with some boys. I don’t want to go into the details but there wasn’t any anal or oral sex. We just took off our clothes and slept together, playing hamsap. I imagined that I was sleeping with Farrah Fawcett.
At that young age it already felt good to have someone’s naked body touching mine. I’m glad that it was just an experimenting phase that I went through and thank goodness I didn’t grow up being gay. No offense to gay men but I’d prefer to feel the curves from a woman’s body any day.
Once I stumbled unto my dad’s porn magazines. Flipping through the pages, I was not shocked to see pictures of naked men and women but more shocked to see women putting KKJs into their mouth. I didn’t know why they were doing it. I was scared and curious at the same time. I called my friends over and sneaked out the magazine to show them. None of them knew why either. One of them even thought that the woman was eating the man’s KKJ! :P
Right before turning 12 years old, I discovered masturbation, affectionately known by the Chinese as ‘Tar Fei Kei’. I stopped when I turned 50. Ahahahahahaha. :P
The first time I experienced it, I was sleeping in a double decker bed. I was on top and my grandmother was sleeping below. One of my friends who had elder brothers, had given me the ‘instructions’. When I came it was messy. I think my explosion hit the ceiling! (It was a double decker bed and the ceiling was low). Once I discovered the ‘art’, my grandmother often got annoyed. She would be woken up by the shaking bed and she would kick my bed and shout "Stop playing with your KKJ!" From then onwards, I would often relieve myself in the toilet when everyone was asleep.
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When I was 15, I had already mixed with the wrong crowd and would skip school often. We would spend time at the Bandar Baru Sentul Flats where a girl we knew was staying there. Her parents were working in the day and the two sisters would be home alone. Her school friends would also come over to hang out. We were a bunch of ‘lala chai’s and ‘lala mui’s. We would spend the day there and would leave before their parents got home.
It was there that I had oral sex for the first time. She was the same age as I was. We went into her room and locked the door. My heart pumped so fast, blood was flowing out of my belly button. :P
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She would then perform oral sex on me until I exploded. I found out later that I was not her only one. But that was the world of the lalas. One month, you’re with this lala, the next month you’re with another.
I eventually left that circle and I left a virgin. I didn’t have intercourse with anyone. As a matter of fact, I think everyone in that circle only had oral sex and didn’t have intercourse. I think we all subscribe to the thought that it was ok as long as it was oral sex and not sexual intercourse. You don’t get pregnant with oral. (Interestingly I read a report last year that state many as young as 12 years old were having oral sex because they shared the same view.)
Nothing interesting happened after that until I eventually met someone serious and lost my virginity.
So are you hoping that your kids will not turn out to be like me? :P
hey adrian, i’m really sorry (and horrified!!!) to hear about ur childhood experience…no child should had seen what u saw!! but despite all that, i think u came out all right wut. skipped schools but still can be an interesting eloquent blogger! :)
Reply : No need to feel sorry. It was a long time ago.
You think I came out all right?? Bcoz I skipped school I dun understand the word eloquent! :P
ps: Since u’re my blog stalker, how long have u been stalking my blog ah?
Comment by stalker of void sky — 21 March 2008 @ 3:57 am
ALAMAK! Sorry to hear about your childhood….something a child should never have to go through. Just a burden that shouldn’t be thrusted (pardon the pun) unto a child. But yes….you turned out just fine! LOL :-)
Reply : No need to be sorry. In the end, I caused more hurt over the years to my mom.
ps: Your blog is locked. Any chance of me getting access?
Comment by Skwermy — 21 March 2008 @ 6:32 am
aiyo, sungguh manakutkan la yr childhood. just imagine my oscar now 5yrs old, saw us doing it!! i think i’d die !!!! just let me die !!!! so memalufyingkan…!!!
Reply : Seeing own parents still not as bad as seeing your own mother with another ‘uncle’.
Comment by Oscar's Mommy — 21 March 2008 @ 8:47 am
wow… that is too much a sight for a 5 year old, after that does uncle lim still come to your house often?
Reply : He continued to come for a short period of time and suddenly stopped. Many years later, he came one day when my parents were at work and I was at home with my brother and grandmother. After that visit, I never saw him again.
Comment by evelyn — 21 March 2008 @ 9:35 am
I’m sorry Adrian. No 5 year old should have to go through something like that. And I can’t understand why your wife would share with her relatives something so private that you confided in her on but then she is a very hard woman to understand.
Reply : No need to be sorry. It happened a long time ago.
When I found out my wife had shared my secret, we had a big argument. I told her that I would never open up to her again. To this day, I have kept many secrets from her. She knows I will never tell her things about me and nowadays she will not ask me about anything, my work, my business, etc.
Comment by mumsgather — 21 March 2008 @ 9:54 am
Tabik. For writing these on a public blog.
Reply : Dun think it matters. It was a long time ago.
Comment by hflee — 21 March 2008 @ 9:54 am
Sorry to hear that…
When I was very young I too slept with my parents, but never encounter this, can’t remember. Then when I started standard 1, I slept together with my grandma and grandad, I still remember that I was stuck in between both of them (sleep in the middle) and I always complain very hot, cos that time no air con ma…I am glad that I didn’t encounter those ‘ng ying goi dei tou gei yeah’…
Reply : No need to be sorry.
Own parents/family members won’t be so horrifying kuah? Imagine seeing someone else with your mother. :P
Comment by Rachel — 21 March 2008 @ 9:58 am
wah, both of them really cant wait for a better time to do it..
eh, having oral sex at 15 is an offence u know.. can masuk penjara one. no meh..?
Reply : Well when u are feeling horny, anything goes.
I bet u didn’t know that there is a law that states oral sex is a crime in Msia. Doesn’t matter what age.
Comment by sengkor — 21 March 2008 @ 10:16 am
very interesting.. salut you lah …
Reply : Which part is interesting?
Comment by janicepa — 21 March 2008 @ 10:24 am
must have taken you a lot to write such a revealing post. you should not have been subjected to what you saw! i’m shocked!! sometimes i have to wonder, how can adults sometimes be so stupid and insensitive?!
on a lighter note… i didnt know you can get an infection when too much sperm passes through a KKJ!lol!
Reply : When adults are horny, anything goes. :P
Yeah u could. I’m not the only one. My fren once had the same thing bcoz he tfk for days in a row.
Comment by lingzie — 21 March 2008 @ 12:59 pm
for the first time, i dunno what to say.. thot want to *&&$@^# yr mader, but………
*sad*
Reply : It was a long time ago lar.
Is this ur first time dunno what to say?
Comment by angeles — 21 March 2008 @ 1:14 pm
hmmm…uncle lim…genting? ur bro..no windfall from inheritance ah?
just kidding.
errm…..sorry to hear abt it. it’s kinda hard to ’swallow’ this kinda story.
Reply : If it was the Genting tycoon, I will personally book the room for my mom and him…. KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKA! :P
No need to be sorry. It’s passed now.
Comment by mott — 21 March 2008 @ 1:23 pm
i am at lost of words (not like it’s the first time with ur post) about the story… and and, if i’m u, i dunno what i would have done at that age…
Reply : I’m sure u would have done the same thing which is to sit there and try not to look back.
Comment by ShannonC. — 21 March 2008 @ 1:36 pm
I was wondering…Uncle Lim is itu Lim Goh Tong kah?
That’s a terrible childhood experience man.Not suprised that you hated your mum.
TFk too much till got infection.I was laughing at that part…lolx…
You turn out quite alright after all those things and you can write very very well.Serious post with a few funny stuff.
Reply : If Lim Goh Tong ah… I dun care lor.. kakakakaka.
Yeah but it was a long time ago. I stopped hating my mom when I became an adult.
dun laff ar… damn painful u know!
Comment by pookyma — 21 March 2008 @ 4:13 pm
Thks for sharing something so private.
Reply : Thanks for your thanks.
Comment by king's wife — 21 March 2008 @ 7:55 pm
My parents also never say anything about sex to me. I know kissing is love from TV series and movies when I was young. Form5, biology class I know what is sex. In university, my friends and I watched 18SX. Then from there, I only know men’s KKJ so big one ar.. Hahaha… I know oral sex.
I also played those green toy little soldiers when I was young le.
Arhhh !!!! That was terrible !!! How can that be happened ?? *Speechless.. I don’t know what to say actually.. I feel kesian to you actually.. *
Little boy never lie.
I will hate my dad or my mum if they were being unfaithful to each other. Because I feel that unfaithful will spoilt the family. I want a complete family.
Little boys also talk this kind of thing with friends meh.. Actually I din talk one.. we only talk about period pain only..
First time, 15!! So small !!
This is very interesting story from you. This is the first time I read what a little boy thought actually..
Reply : I can understand why u would hate ur parents if they were unfaithful to each other. But sometimes these things happen especially when the marriage has become dull. I used to hate my mom but now I can understand. My parents marriage wasn’t as hot and my dad is not someone who can easily express his feelings. So when my mom had this young Uncle Lim woo and lum her, she felt good from the attention. Hence, she slept with him.
Comment by keeyit — 21 March 2008 @ 10:12 pm
You have access! :-)
Reply : Ha… now I know u. I mean ur blog. I remember the photo of ur tattoo.
I’ve visited ur blog before from someone else’s blog. (can’t remember who). She had u on her blogroll.
Comment by Skwermy — 21 March 2008 @ 10:54 pm
1 month plus only la…but i’d gone back all the way in ur archive right up to the first post :)
i didn’t intend to leave any comments ever, but this post…it shocked me out from my silence :p
Reply : So any chance of me stalking ur blog as well?
Comment by stalker of void sky — 22 March 2008 @ 12:11 am
this story really horrified me when I read uncle Lim . but your dad is so trust your mum and the 2 of them just do in front of you and you only 5 years old … there does give a young boy a life time to forget .
oh dear …..is al very long time ago if your dad can forgive her none of us can say anything bad about your mum and uncle Lim .
But you are so brave sharing this story out with us
all …… many thank , old ppl say one type of rice feed all kind of ppl and uncle LIM is one of those kind , have a nice weekend
Reply : I dun know the saying one type of rice feed all kind of people. What does it mean?
Comment by pearly — 22 March 2008 @ 12:11 am
Why L.G.T. and not LKS?? Eh? What? More ‘logic’ maaa, no meh?? LGT mm ngam age la… LKS is still in his 60’s…
Reply : LKS not rich enuff. Besides…if LKS ah… then I mai join politics? Who knows I could have been Penang CM leh! Then hor… I announce every nite is party nite in Penang! PARRRRRTY! PAAAARTY!
Comment by angeles — 22 March 2008 @ 12:23 am
Poor guy, I think what happened when you were 5 really affects u a lot. No wonder you are always so sexcited but that is good in another way as well bcos with high sexual activity, you can save yourself from prostate cancer =D.
Probably bcos I’m in medic line. Sex, kkj, boobs, naked people, porn are normal things to me bcos it’s part of my job. I got so used to it that I talk to my little brother openly and I guess more or less I could spoonfed him some sex education kua. But not teaching him about oral sex etc etc first tho cos he’s always surrounded by girls, dun wan later he made girls pregnant at 9 yrs old! Scary~
Reply : Hahahahaha… I read about the much sexual activity will prevent prostate cancer part.
Yea la hor… watching porn is part of ur job hor. Who u trying to bluff ah? :P
Eh… 9 yrs old can produce sperm ah?
Comment by littlepolaris — 22 March 2008 @ 7:37 am
i think your parents are more open-minded than a lot of readers here, including me. ;-)
What I feel most revealing is that your wife can so easily take your confidence and trust for granted. I don’t blame you for not opening up to her anymore. I wouldn’t either if my husband betrayed me like that.
After reading so much abt your relationship with your wife, I wonder what it is that is holding both of you together? I think the standard excuse “for the kids sake” is over-rated. My guess is that your wife is still too hot for you to give up. Betul tak?? (No offence, okay?)
Reply : The kids are the main reason. I don’t think I can raise them up alone. Well at least it would be hard.
The other reason is the hassle of a divorce, with the properties, bank accounts, etc. I’m too kiasu, I want to keep everything and she wants what I want. :P
Comment by AM — 22 March 2008 @ 9:08 am
no wonder u so keng, u have a keng sifu aka yr mum. but yr parents still together..very good.Maybe he asked uncle lim to service yr mum leh? who knows?
Reply : Hahahha… u ar…
I dunno if my dad knew or believed me… but even if he did, so what. Great sex and marriage is different. U could be with the man u love but not get great sex. U could have great sex and not want to be with that man.
Comment by sasha — 22 March 2008 @ 3:51 pm
wow….such a dramatic story eh…a 5 year old boy staying in the same room while his mother having sex with another guy? OMG! ur mum darn keng-chau!
Reply : Well at least she didn’t leave me outside the room! :P
Comment by Nux — 22 March 2008 @ 5:04 pm
omg…too much information!
Reply : Sure or not?
Comment by wuching — 22 March 2008 @ 5:19 pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… sorry to laugh so loud ah.
As with your other readers, at first I too was shocked, horrified, amazed, sorry, etc. to read about your experience. But when I got to the part where you TFK on your double decker bed and your grandma asked you to knock it off, I just laughed and laughed and everything else was forgotten!! Your grandma got ask you to clean the ceiling or not??
But seriously, there are many things between husband and wife that should never be divulge to a 3rd party, let alone a roomful of yee-ma koo-jie!! If you can’t trust your spouse, who else can you trust??
No, you don’t answer that.. :P
Reply : I trust u lor. Hahahaha… Oops. Sorry u said dun answer dat. :P
Comment by kat — 22 March 2008 @ 8:28 pm
Akcherly, are you sure you are talking about yourself and not your wife? She seems more sot sot dei than you leh..
Reply : Well my wife didn’t have a happy childhood as well. But she’s a nutcase.
I’m more sot sot dei.
Comment by kat — 22 March 2008 @ 8:30 pm
Now we know why you drink Coke and not 7UP… :D
Reply : Exactly! :P
Comment by kat — 22 March 2008 @ 8:32 pm
har? let u stalk my blog ar? but u sot sot dei 1 wor, ha ha ha.
but honestly, i don’t have any public blog la. sumpah! janji!
Reply : So when ur starting a blog. ;)
Comment by stalker of void sky — 24 March 2008 @ 2:49 am
Sorry to hear yr past…well no problem mate..Time to take revenge !!!!! No wonder u like to sleep around lar…Hehe joking only bro..no pun intended
Reply : Take revenge? Take revenge on who?
Comment by Alan Tan — 24 March 2008 @ 8:48 am
Trauma for a 5yr old boy! Hey, isn’t that the same age as your son is right now? Better not let him catch you… ahahaha.
Reply : Hahaha.. if kena caught I can give excuse lar… but if intentionally sit him down to watch ’show’ then too much lar. :P
Comment by rinnah — 25 March 2008 @ 10:50 pm
*speechless* but wait, a very honest post. never imagine someone cud write all this in WWW. keng. hats off. salute. kesian man. haih. O.o
Reply : Thanks for all ur comments. U also very eager to comment ah. :)
Comment by Irene — 4 April 2008 @ 12:18 am
Buay Tahan.. Laugh until stomachache.. but sorry to hear abt your horrible childhood story…
You are the Best, Adrain!!
Reply : No worries. It was a long time ago.
Comment by Jasmine — 4 April 2008 @ 5:07 am
oh man! what a horrid memory of your uncle lim, mom, 7-up and you soldiers.
ARGH!…..poor you!
Reply : Happened long time ago.
Comment by mumbojumbo — 16 April 2008 @ 6:06 pm