It seemed so much easier the last time I said it.  Maybe it was easier because of all the tulan-ness my wife put me through.  Maybe because my conscience was clear then.

Now I find it hard to open my mouth.

I’m not trying to delay the inevitable.  To be completely honest, these days I don’t feel like a married man except when I’m with my kids.  I don’t sleep in the same bed with my wife.  Whenever I’m at home, we hardly speak.  The things we say are said because of responsibilities.  "I’m picking up the kids today." "I’m taking the kids to have dinner with my parents this Saturday." "Can you take the kids on Sunday?"

Maybe it’s harder because I’m seriously involved with V now.

Maybe it’s harder because this time round, I feel the need to say I’m sorry.

Maybe because my wife have not been at peace for some time now and I can see she is beginning to find it.  Her parents and siblings are back in her life now.  The kids are closer to her now.

But sometimes life kicks you hard and seems to enjoy kicking you.  First, her dad had to go for an operation.  Then her nephew fell down the stairs and fractured his skull.  And now the person who has taken care of her from young, the person she loves the most, her grandmother, has a heart condition and needs to go for heart surgery.  So obviously wifey has been distraught.

She asked me to visit her father when he had his operation last week which I did.  Pretending that all is well with us.  One happy family.  Yesterday I went to visit her grandmother.  Pretending again.

And I couldn’t find it in me to sit her down for a serious discussion.  Waiting for all these hiccups to pass, seems to be the right thing to do.  Or is it?  When all the dust has settled, life will kick her again.  Her husband has been having an affair and wants a divorce.

I have a client who runs a spa.  It’s one of those ‘good for your health’ spas which provide services like detox programs and therapies.

Today they received an enquiry from a so-called celebrity blogger.  I think she’s considered a celebrity bloggger.  My definition of a celebrity blogger is someone who is popular in the real world because of their blog.  So if you were to spot this blogger around town you would immediately recognise her, "Hey, that’s XXXX!".  Your friends who are not connected would have no clue who the heck she is.  Celebrity blogger.

This celebrity blogger sent an enquiry to my client expressing that she was interested in their services.  She ‘offered’ to review my client’s services on her blog.  Now I might be an idiot when interpreting one’s intentions but from reading her email, I was pretty sure she was asking for a free ride.  ‘Give me your services for free and I shall review you on my blog’.  She even gave numbers on how many visitors she gets in a day.  Around satu ribu a day.

I guess there’s nothing wrong with asking for a free ride.  But what about the review?  What if the service was not as good as it could have been?  Would she still say nice things?  Heck, she got it for free when some Datins had to pay good moolah to be slim healthy.

And what about all the reviews on her blog.  Which ones are the true blue honest ones?  Which reviews are the ones that she had tried and actually thought that it was worth sharing with her readers instead of she had to do it because she wanted it for free.  Give it to me for free and I shall review you on my blog.

I always thought it worked the other way round.  Companies would approach bloggers with offers to test their products or services in exchange for a review.  I never knew there were some who were going around asking for free stuff.

But what the heck am I rambling about?  That’s the benefits of being a celebrity blogger rite?

I’m going to my regular mamak now to ask for free teh tarik and roti canai in exchange for a review.  Wish me luck. :P

First up, what are your thoughts on Dr_Chua_Soi_Lek’s political comeback?  Amazing isn’t it?  Do you think it’s because people in MCA have very short memory?  Or are they very forgiving?  Or perhaps they just don’t care what he does in his personal time?  I think it’s because every Ah Ngau, Ah Keong, Ah Leong, Ah Loi, Ah Wah is doing it as well.  It’s very much a part of our community.

Anyway.

This afternoon I was invited to my friend’s new office opening.  He ran his company from a small office and today they have moved to a new building occupying one whole floor.  In attendance were most of my friends, my heng tais.  Some brought their wives and kids.  I went alone.

Some of them are smokers and when they head out to the lobby for their fix, we gather there like a pack of wolves.  Our voices are all hush-hush so that some of the wives inside do not hear what is spoken within the circle.  We only raise our voice when one of the wives comes out to check if the husbands are still alive.  It’s been too quiet for some time.  When that happens the topic automatically switches to business talk or the state of the economy.

And that’s what I want to blog about here.  The economy.  Not the sex talks, the sex trips to Thailand or the prostitutes who and who had at this or that hotel.

We all know that there is a global financial crisis and the economy is not doing so well.  It is a cause for concern for the regular joe on the street.  Me included.  If you look at places like CoffeeBean or Starbucks on the weekends, it is still getting the crowd.  This is not a sign that people are concerned about the economy is it?  But then unless you get your caffeine from your Starbucks daily and work there daily then you would notice the drop.

The Starbucks I go to has it’s regulars.  Most of them are in sales and some work for smaller companies who adopt flexible working conditions for their employees.  I hardly see those regulars and it’s not been buzzing as it used to.  Bumping into one of those regulars recently I commented that I hardly see her or her colleagues anymore, to which she replied that times are hard.  Everything is getting more expensive and business is not flowing as smoothly as before.  Change lifestyle, she joked.  She then got on her BMW 3 series and drove away.

When I talk about the economy over teh tarik, I generally talk about the concerns, just like the lady above.  When some of my heng tais talk about the economy, they talk about how they hope that the economy will continue to drop.  Share prices will drop.  The value of property will drop.  When it drops to some point, they will buy up shares by the bus load.  They will buy up properties.  They will buy and keep until the value rises again.  They will become ricer.

During the 1997 financial crisis, one of the heng tais owned a few plots of land.  These are bungalow lots in now considered prime locations.  In those days, he got burnt in the share market and from then on struggled to service his loans.  But he was adamant to struggle through it and struggle through it he did.  When things improved, he sold off his land and made good money.  He made his first million from the 1997 crisis.

Some of the heng tais also brought shares and kept it until the share market improved.  RM3 per share that eventually was sold at RM8. 

So if you think you’re rich but you’re concerned about the economy, then you’ve not made it yet.  Me no need to say lar.  Can someone borrow me RM3 first? :P

I’ve fallen too far from the pack.  My heng tais are getting richer.  Their cars are getting bigger and flashier.  Their wives getting plastic-ier.  Their girlfriends getting younger.  I’ve no longer the motivation or drive that I once had to chase after such material gains.  I discovered blogging. :P

First there was Made of Honor.  I kinda enjoyed the movie.  I think it was the first ’sentimental’ movie for me in a long long time since the last one, King Kong.  So it was ok.  Considered still macho.

Then came Heart of Greed.  Although I didn’t understand what was happening to me, why I was experiencing so many different types of feelings in me, I loved it.

Then Moonlight Resonance.  I liked it too until I am Auntie.

And after days of pestering, finally today I agreed to Mamma Mia.

While waiting to go in, I told V that if I leave the cinema liking the movie…. I’m afraid I’ll have to go for a sex change.  No heterosexual man can take that much amount of mawkishness and still keep what’s between his legs.  I would have to cut ‘em off, break off with her, leave my wife and kids, and call Pookyma for a date. :P

The chances for me to keep ‘em seemed pretty slim coz I have not read a single blogger/reviewer say that they did not like it.  Everywhere it’s "Go see Mamma Mia", "I love Mamma Mia", "Mamma Mia, here we go again, bla, bla, bla."

Unfortunately, or rather fortunately for me, I did not like the movie.

What!?  What is it that you guys ladies liked so much about the movie???  The songs??  But it’s ABBA!  You no ABBA CD meh? :P

What?  Did I hear you say Meryl Streep???  But have you guys seen her in Rendition?  Have you seen her in The Devil wears Prada?  By the way, the Devil doesn’t really wear Prada.  The Devil wears Bata.  I’ve seen him shopping there for shoes.  Seriously.

And please tell me you agree with me that in real life, Pierce Brosnan would never go for Meryl Streep.  In real life, Pierce Brosnan would have hit on her daughter.  The moment she took off her top and swam across to the boat in her blue swimsuit, Pierce Brosnan would have greeted her with "Allo. I’m Bond. James Bond."  Korek or not?

To make matters worst, the auntie in front of me kept singing to the songs, "Gip me, gip me, gip me a man after midnite…"  Allo Auntie!  I know you know the songs lar!  But dis is not a karaoke ok!

Seriously.  The demographics who would enjoy this movie are ladies above the age of say…. 26(?), heard ABBA (or Westlife) songs before, thinks Pierce Brosnan’s hairy chest and pinkish brown nipples are hot, then by all means go watch it.  You will have a blast.

If you’re a guy, above the age of 30, heard ABBA songs before, fantasized about having hairy chest and pinkish brown nipples, then by all means go watch it.  You will have a blast.

If you’re depressed, cries for no apparent reasons, go watch it.  You will have a blast.

As for me, I get to keep ‘em and my state of auntie-ness has been wiped clean.  I’m macho again and I have room for 3 more mawkish movies.  High School Musical 3 anyone? :P

Why did I even bother to publish the last post?  It was just super lame. :(

For some reason, I’ve been unmotivated to do anything and I don’t know why.  No wait.  I am motivated.  I’m motivated to be unmotivated. :P

Something’s missing.  Something doesn’t feel right.  I’ve got no drive in me to do anything.

Wanna go watch a movie?  Nah.
Wanna go client meeting?  Nah.
Wanna go grab a drink and watch sweet young things pass by?  Nope.
Wanna go gym?  Nah.
Wanna go swimming?  Nah.
Wanna have sex?  Sure.
Wanna go throw rocks at stray cats?  Nah.
Wanna go pee in the sea?  Why? Who sut luen (broke up)?

I feel like I’m losing my sense of humour.  I’ve lost something in me.  Am I finally starting to grow up?  Or have I taken too much Melamine tainted milk?

Let me tell you about a client of mine who blogs.  During a meeting he asked me if I blog, to which I told him no.  He then tells me about blogs, about his blog, about how you can make good money from blogging.  He tells me about some money making programs and about Google_adsense (Good money from Adsense?? :P).  Really sounds like a pro like dat.  He even criticise a particular femes blogger from Penang, calling her blog boring, poor writing skills, yada yada.  He then shows me his blog and the widgets he has on the sidebars which are supposed to make money for him.  He tells me to support by visiting and clicking on those ads.  Curious, I ask him how much he has made so far from his blog.  He tells me RM100.  Nose bleed!

Anyway…. the second half of this year, I’ve been getting a surge of enquiries from prospective clients who’ve been around in business for some number of years.  Some have been around for as long as 20 years.  Only now do they realize that the internet is an essential part of one’s marketing strategy so they finally want to jump on the bandwagon.  Either that or business is not good and they are looking at new sales channels.  I think business is not good.

Enquiries from new businesses are easier to deal with.  Most of the new business owners are exposed to the internet and know enough to identify which web approach they’d like to take.  Businesses that have been around sometimes makes my nose bleed.

There are clients who only want a website and nothing more.  They don’t want care about web strategies, web approach, seo, etc.  They just want to see their company name followed by a dot com.  They are more interested in when the domain name is registered so that they can print it on their business cards.  My partner told me about his meeting with a typical chinaman business owner and when my partner asked him what are their goals for their website, the chinaman answered "I want to see xxxx.com on my namecard." :P 

Apparently when this chinaman went overseas to promote their products during a trade exhibition, he exchanged cards with potential partners who asked him for his website.  He felt embarrassed when he saw everyone’s card had their company website address on it and he didn’t.

What makes my nose bleed is that when all is done and finished, his company’s website is printed on his name card together with his hotmail email address and not his corporate email address!  So instead of CS LOW, Managing Director, cslow@xxxx.com, it’s csl1968@hotmail.com! :P :P :P  But what do I care right?  Nose bleed. :P

Then there are those that get you excited when they tell you they have a large annual budget to spend on their internet strategy.  Excited not just because of the money but also on the project itself.  There’s more branding and consultancy work involved in such projects then just creating a website (which my partner is responsible for).

This past week was the first meeting with the client and for such projects when they have a large kitty to spend, you need to bullshit more.  You ‘power bullshit’ them with your presentation of internet best practises - less clicks to information, 3 clicks or less, online customer service is the new sales driver, customer retention via customer portals and corporate blogs, bla, bla, bla.  You feel you’re on the right track when the client looks like they’ve enjoyed listening to your bull shit.

But then when it comes to ideas for the website, the number one guy, the guy who’s been around in the company for 20 years, the guy who’s going to approve your cheque, tells you his idea and what he feels the website approach should be, "I’ve always envisioned our website to be……"

When the page loads, the visitor is inside a car/taxi on the way to the airport.  Once he arrives, he clicks on the door to open it and then clicks the counter to check in.  He goes through the whole process and clicks on the departure gate to board the plane.  He is greeted by a stewardess who shows him to his seat.  The plane takes off and takes him to……. the entrance of the client’s office!  And he’s not done yet.

The visitor then has to click on a door bell(!!!!!!) before the door opens and he is greeted by a receptionist who says "Welcome to the website of ABC company".  Then only do the website’s navigation starts.

This is for a company that manufactures carton boxes!  I just don’t get the whole journey to the airport, taking the plane and ringing the doorbell approach.  I guess he wants people to know that you’d have to fly to their office and ring the doorbell to buy a box! :P

Wiping the blood from my nose, I tried reminding him about best practices, less is more, less is more but in the end my partner told him we’ll see what we can come out with.

While we were leaving the office, a younger employee from his marketing team told us that he thought it was a silly idea.  In my head I’m wondering why don’t you say something if you think it’s silly.  Isn’t it ok to tell your boss that his idea sucked and get fired for it?

Many years ago I caught an episode of Oprah on pedophiles in the US.  This was not long after a number of cases that had happened over there resulting in the rape and murder of the young victims.  During her show, she interviewed a young girl (if I can recall I think she was about 7 or 8 years old) that was taken right in front of her home but had managed to escape from her abductor later that same day.  The man placed her behind the front passenger’s seat and handcuffed her hands to the bottom of the seat.  That way she was seated on the floor and hidden from view.

On the way to wherever it was the man was heading to, he had to stop to get something from a nearby petrol station.  He gagged her and left her alone in the car, parked some distance away.  He warned her and probably didn’t think much of what she could do because of her young age, left a big bunch of keys underneath his seat.  She managed to reach for the keys and after trying a few keys on the handcuffs, managed to free herself before the man returned.  She ran in the opposite direction and asked for help from the first adult she saw.  By the time the police arrived, the man was gone.

Oprah praised the young girl for her calmness, bravery and ability to think in such a situation.  Many young girls would have just been too terrified to do anything.  The girl replied that she kept thinking about what her parents had always taught her, about talking to strangers and what to do if ever she gets abducted.  Oprah was fascinated by her parent’s advice.  Most parents will talk to their children about not talking to strangers, to not accept candy from strangers, etc., but not many will talk about what to do if the worst case happens which is if the child gets abducted.  Oprah then introduced to the show a child specialist who talked about parents’ advise for young children.  

Among the usual ‘do not follow strangers’ advise was how important it was to explain what abduction is.  To a young child, if you tell them to not follow a stranger, the child will think it’s ok as long as I don’t follow this man away.  It’s ok for me to sit here and play as long as I don’t follow him away.  It’s safe for me as long as I don’t talk to this stranger.  It’s safe for me as long as I don’t take his candy.  That’s why most abductors prey on children while they are playing.  They are unaware of the danger they’re in when they’re having fun.  Makes things easier for the abductor.

Among the advice the specialist had for parents was to tell the child that they should immediately let an adult (known to the child) that a stranger was talking to them or had approached them.  If a stranger tries to grab the child, the child should kick and scream and bite and do whatever the child can to stop the stranger from taking them away.  Stress this point to the child that if the stranger managed to take them away, they will never see Daddy and Mommy again.  She went on to share many more advice which I won’t go into or else this post will never end.

That episode of Oprah opened my eyes.  Although my dotter was still just a toddler, I was already paranoid about her safety.  Malaysia was getting more and more screwed up with our own cases.  When she was old enough to have a conversation with me, I told her about talking to strangers, abductions and what to do, etc.  Not just with my dotter but also with my son.  Both of them know the story of Susie well.

One day Susie took a shortcut and after following her neighbour to an underground den, was brutally raped and murdered.  Of course I didn’t tell them it was from this book.  I sometimes tell these stories as bedtime stories just to freak them out.  But strangely my kids prefers scary stories.  Whenever I tell them a feel good story, they’ll complain it’s boring.  So it’s often stories about the Pig Boy who laughs so that you would look out the window, the Donkey Boy who peeks into homes with the TV on after 10pm, the Wolfman who cuts little boys’ KKJs, the old Por-Por who climbs pipes, etc.

Anyway back to the topic.  So I stress that they have to fight as hard as they can if anyone ever tries to take them.  Kick, punch, bite, grab a screwdriver and stab the guy in the eye, grab a baseball bat, whatever.  Must break free or else you’ll end up like Susie.

Over the years, the kicking, punching and biting became advice to fight off bullies.  My son has some birthmarks on his face.  His sister used to make fun of him by calling him ugly because of his birthmarks.  Whenever someone asked about his birthmarks, his sister would say to him, "See? Auntie say you ugly boy erh…."

My son became conscious of the marks on his face.  He became worried that he would be picked on when he goes to kindergarten (his sister told him this).  His sister used to make fun of him, telling him the other children at the kindie will bully him because of his birthmarks.  They will push his head and tell him "Get lost lah! Ugly boy! We don’t fren with ugly boy wan."  They will kick his bag.  They will push him around.  No one will want to play with him.  I know!  The sister damn mental rite!?

When my son cried because of what the sister had said, the sister will then stop and comfort the brother pulak! *slaps forehead*  "Oklar, Oklar. Dun crylar. People bully you, you fight back lor. You punch them, kick them or bite them like bite stranger like dat lor."

One day my dotter came back from school and she told us about a group of boys who had grabbed this younger boy and had pushed him up against a wall and started to beat him up for what reasons we don’t know.  When we asked why the boy was beaten up, dotter answered "Bcoz he was ugly kua…."  She then added "What happens if next time when J goes to my school and some boys beat him like dat how arh?" creating fear in her brother’s heart.

The normal sane parent would probably tell him, it’s ok, he must show patience, tell teachers, walk away, etc., but I think sometimes kids need to also learn that there are times when it’s ok to stand up for themselves.  I told my son that in such a case, he should fight back.  Kick them in the balls then run to the nearest teacher. :P  Or fight back so that they become afraid of you and run away.

Of course you have to be explain when it’s ok to stand up for themselves.  If someone says you’re ugly, don’t just go kick them lah.  If you feel you’ve done nothing wrong and they come after you like that then it’s ok for you to fight back.  Kick, punch, bite as hard as you can.  My son then asked me what if the teacher punishes him for fighting, to which I assures him that I will back him up by explaining to the teacher.  To be honest, if my son ever got into that kind of situation, I wouldn’t blame him for fighting back.

I remember the first time my dotter was bullied.  She was just 3 years old.  It was at a McD’s play area near our home.  There had been a birthday party earlier and three bigger kids around 5-6 years old were sitting in the play area looking through their gift packs, looking at their stickers and freebies.  Two girls, one boy.

My dotter at that age was a friendly kid.  She could approach anyone and just start talking.  So when she saw these kids with their stickers, she just sat next to them and started talking to them, telling them their stickers were nice.

These bigger more mature kids of course didn’t give my dotter a hoot’s ass.  It’s not that they’re cruel, they’re just kids.  So every time my dotter said something, they would turn their backs towards her and ignore her.  My dotter still didn’t get the message and continued to be friendly with them.  They continued to ignore her and then annoyed, started to call her names, one girl even raised her voice and told dotter to "Get lost!!"

I sat at my table and didn’t do anything.  I wanted to see how my dotter would react and wanted to let her handle herself.  Dotter looked a bit disappointed but continued smiling and talking about their nice stickers. "Wah, nice hor? nice hor?"

The kids started being really rude to the extent of talking loudly right into dotter’s face, "Stupid!" "Yeah! Go awaylah stupid!"  Dotter had to move her face away.  Now all this while, their mothers were at a table right next to the play area.  They clearly saw what was going on but did nothing.  I guess this pissed me off more than the kids.  

Dotter started to get the message.  She felt unpopular, unwanted.  But these are shiny Barbie doll stickers.  Definitely worth the abuse for a 3 year old.  

The last straw for me came when the boy turned around and held up his fist in dotter’s face and started roughly shoving dotter’s shoulder, telling her to go away.  At that point, dotter held her hands together and look as if she was going to break down in tears.  I had to step in and I was already pissed (with their mothers).  I loudly asked dotter "Which boy naughty!?" and she happily pointed out him to me.  "This wan! This wan!"   The boy was still unfazed by my presence until I wriggled my fingers in his face and put a curse on him.  He then complained to his mother that a monster was going to visit him that night.  Wat todo?

It was that incident that left me with the impression that kids sometimes need to be thought when it is ok to stand up for themselves.  If not, they might grow up accepting every piece of shit that is thrown at them.  I’ve seen many adults who do not speak up, especially with work related matters. (Ceh… I say only but I also accept every piece of shit thrown at me :P)

So that’s what I tell my kids and that’s what they will (sometimes) do.  If you remember a boy had kicked my son in nursery and my son shouted at him only to be punched again. :P  Well at least he protested. :P

Sekian terima kasih.  Majulah sukan untuk negara.