When I was earning a steady income working for someone, my wife always told me that I should go into business instead.  She felt that by working for someone my income was capped.  There’s only so much you can earn when you’re working for someone.  Using real life examples of people we knew who had gone into business and had become wealthy, she felt owning a business is always better than working for someone.  

One example is a guy called W who worked in the same company as us (my wife and I worked in the same company when we met).  W was one of the sales managers in the same division as my wife.  When I left the company, W was already married with three kids.  He drove a Perdana and lived in a modest flat.  A few years later at an ex-colleagues wedding dinner, I met W again.  He had left his wife and three kids.  He sat next to me and sitting next to him was his new wife.  He told me that he had started his own company at the encouragement of his new wife.

At that time I was doing quite ok in my career and I was Country Manager for a Scandinavian consulting company.  His new wife kept asking me questions about how I build my contacts, what I do to build relationships with clients, etc.  When they found out I played golf with clients, she immediately told W that he should pick up golf.  I got the impression that she was ‘pushing’ him or maybe I should say driving him.  And I mean it in a good way.

A few years after that dinner, I saw W’s face featured in newspapers and business magazines.  I then had business opportunities with him when he asked me to help launch online portals for a few foreign embassies, all his clients.  In my eyes, he was a successful businessman.  He owned the 3 storey shoplot his company was operating from.  He was driven around by a driver in a S-Class, he also owned a Volvo and a Toyota Harrier.  He owned a home in a prestigious gated community.  He doesn’t have any regrets in leaving his first wife and three kids.  If he hadn’t done so, he believed he wouldn’t be where he is today.  They are history as far as he is concerned.  He only wants to concentrate on his life now.  He also told me that his second wife was helping him in his business and he credited his success to his wife.  She was constantly driving him on to succeed.  He stands by the saying, ‘Behind every successful man is a woman’.

In Uncle_Lim_Goh_Tong’s book, which I have to say is the ‘clean’ version (I do not believe that he did not have to bribe anyone to get those mega projects).  He did however mention something similar where he said he appreciated his wife’s sacrifices and contribution to his success.  He married his wife when she was just 16.  In those days it was the norm to marry at a very young age.  If you try that today, you’d probably end up in jail. :P

Uncle_Lim said he was very grateful for his wife.  Uncle_Lim had to travel and was away often but his wife fully understood the nature of his work.  She took care of the household.  Never once did Uncle_Lim had to worry about the children because he knew his wife was there.  She made sure he had a warm and cozy home to come back to, where he could relax and forget about his troubles outside.  It was her policy to not interfere in his external affairs and concentrated only on her role as homemaker.   According to Uncle_Lim, because of this, they seldom quarreled and they were able to enjoy a blissful life.

Taking care of the household is not only what she did as she also had a hand in a few decisions related to his business such as the naming of Genting_Highland in Chinese.  When he ran into business and financial problems, she was always ready to share his problems and give him encouragement and support without complaints.

But honestly I think that was zaman dulu.  I think in those days women didn’t have the opportunity they have today.  So no choice.  In this day and age, women are more empowered, more independent and stronger.  Staying at home to be a homemaker is a choice one makes and no longer a ’so no choice’.

When I asked my wife if she wanted to stay at home after dotter was born, she made it clear that there was no way in hell that she was going to give up her career.  It wasn’t because we needed the money.  My income alone could cover our expenses.  It was because she had real prospects in her work to go into management and she didn’t want to give that up.  In all honesty, I’m glad she didn’t give up her career because I don’t think she could stand the pressures of being a homemaker, dealing with two sakkai kids.

When my boss decided to pull out, I decided to take over the business.  I told my wife and she was against the idea.  WTF rite?  All those years of saying that I should go into business but when I finally decided to, she becomes all negative.  Now I know why I’m still not successful.  I didn’t have a woman behind me. :P

I’ve got more to say but in the next post lar.  I’m not feeling well today.  The weather’s freaking hot and my ‘telurs’ are already separuh masak liao.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ…..