Isn’t it about the support?
Let’s continue from the ‘Behind every succesful man is a woman’ post.
Everyone has their own definition. I have mine. But individuals who have experience it, can truly say it with conviction.
Dr.M said it before.
Anwar’s wife Dr_Wan_Azizah allows him to say it out loud with pride. Without her he would have been long forgotten.
Lee_Kuan_Yew said the same about Mdm_Kwa.
John_Chow said his wife was his number one reason for his success. Always cheering him on and inspiring him to succeed.
Pak_Lah quickly remarried because he knew the ingredient for success. Oklar, not all are success stories. :P
Seen our new PM’s wife lately? You dare tell me she’s not playing a part in his success? Can you guess who came out with his brilliant branding campaign 1Msia, his blog, tweets and even facebook? I dunno, I’m asking you. ;)
Men are the most unbalanced creatures. Walk also senget wan. Noticed or not? Who keeps a man balanced? Only a woman can. Who can he turn to when something goes wrong? If he can’t, he’ll just keep it all inside. Only a woman can take care of a man’s emotional needs. Only a woman can inspire a man, give him motivation and be his reason to achieve something.
Oklar. Enough oledi with the bs. Which comes to the reason for my post.
When I decided to take over the business, the first thing I did was work on a cashflow projection. I cannot stress how important this is for people who want to start a business. I did not want to go into it and ‘chap lup’ in the end which happened to a business venture I went into many years back. A friend’s uncle was opening a cafe in 1U and my friend had a part in it. He asked me to join in. Both of us didn’t know anything about the food business but his uncle had work experience in Vietnam. Trusting his uncle I just blindly took a small stake, believing that food business will always make money.
At that time the New_Wing was under construction. We believed that when the New_Wing opened, our business would take off because we were located at the lower ground walkway connecting the Old_Wing with New_Wing. Unfortunately we couldn’t last the distance. It was either pump in more money or sell the business to someone else. My friend’s uncle decided not to continue and wanted to sell his stake to us but what did we know about running a restaurant. So Kaboom! We cut our loses.
That failure was a big lesson for me. My wife made sure I was reminded of my ‘foolishness’.
But with my business now, it’s different. I know the industry. I know the business. Since my boss is leaving, it’s really just continuing the business without him (and pay). It was a risk worth taking. I came out with a cashflow and had a projection of the worst case scenario. I had a number as capital that would sustain the business for two years. I offered my current partner a slice of the pie. He was only willing to fork out a small sum which was fine by me. I had some savings and we were also being offered pay packages by my boss. I took a risk with almost everything I had.
I told my significant other. She was on board with the idea until I told her how much money was involved and the sacrifices I had to make. I had to give up our office in the Twin_towers. I was only going to retain a handful of employees, only those under my partner’s department. I had to give up the company beemer. I had to give up my meal allowance which meant the company wasn’t paying for our meals anymore. I had to give up travel allowance, full petrol and handphone claim. I was going to take a much much lower salary than what I was getting. And most of all, I wasn’t going to get 10% commission on every business deal.
All this will change when the company makes serious money of course.
I did not need my wife to take care of the home while I went out on my ‘quest to succeed’. She can continue to work and she should, since she was earning more than me at that time. I can concentrate on my business and stay at home to look after the kids (Last time I got maid mah). Besides got chips and ice-cream also. :P
All I wanted was some support. Building a business doesn’t happen overnight. You think I got any support?
All I got was negativity. That I should go out and work for someone, especially foreign companies with operations here. Demand a well enough pay with fringe benefits. Steady income every month. Commission. Company car. Meal allowance. I had already failed once. I was wasting time. Business is not for me.
I met a guy last year and we have been in regular contact through business. He was one of the senior partners of a fast moving company. They were to be listed on the second board and the financial crisis in the 90s struck. He suffered heavy loses in the share market. He lost every thing including his home. After everything settled down, he started another company. He was a one man show.
This time things were progressing slowly. He would go more than a year without salary. His wife was the bread winner and supported him with her salary which wasn’t much. She also had to pay for the car loan and the rental of their apartment. He thought about giving up the business and going back to full time employment but his wife was against it.
Instead his wife encouraged him and gave him her full support. He remembers clearly what his wife told him that caused him to leap up and strive to succeed. His wife told him that he shouldn’t give up and should continue with the business. She believed in his ability to build the business. He had done it before (with the earlier company) and she was confident he would be able to do it again.
Today he is no longer a one man company. He even started a branch in India employing over 70 employees. He is grateful to his wife for believing in him. If she hadn’t shown belief in him, he would probably be in full time employment.
Having the support of a significant other is a big encouragement factor. Someone that believes in you, cheers for you and lifts up your spirits even if you fall flat on your ass. That is my definition of ‘Behind every successful man is a woman’. It’s an old saying but taken in today’s context, it should work both ways. Man, woman, she-man, he-woman, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, watevar! :P
Well I don’t have a woman behind me but I got…… I pigi tidor dulu. Tomorrow got meeting. Sambung besok.
potong stim lagi!
Reply : Wat to do. Drink more water lor. :P
Comment by a n g e l e s — 23 April 2009 @ 2:13 am
i stand behind adam lambert.
but sit beside adrianlee. how?
Reply : Adam Lambert is good. But I’m still hoping Danny Gokey wins it.
Comment by a n g e l e s — 23 April 2009 @ 2:18 am
You whole life potong stim oni. Must be all that stim coming out from your nostrils from talking about books.
Reply : Yeah, dat wan really stim.
Comment by mumsgather — 23 April 2009 @ 9:13 am
Okay! This time I agree with you 200% coz you type so long, I give markah kesian! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
PS: Your post so inspirational *cue to the song I Dreamed A Dream* :P
Reply : Markah kesian pun jadi lah. :P
Comment by Clare — 23 April 2009 @ 10:16 am
all u need is ONE good fren la. I’m sure u have, right?
go find that support from that fren la…heh
Reply : Will you be my fren…… *puppy eyes* :P
Comment by mott — 23 April 2009 @ 12:03 pm
You know, my hubby kena retrench when my dotter was born. Our first child. Before her fullmoon summore. And after all the crap talk by kwailo managemnt abt them being the core team lah, must work hard togeder lah, blablabla. And on the day he went back to work after a few days paternity leave, he received his letter. And where was his immediate boss that day? Gone to Genting with his family.
What does this have to do with your post? Nothing kwa.
Come to think of it, poor hubby has had his ups and downs. Shouldn’t scold him so hard when he go drinking hor? Afturds he dun buy me anymore books..
Reply : PL (from my faithful - unfaithful posts) once taught me a very good lesson about management. One of his Indon supervisors wanted to resign at a time when there was an overload of work. PL gave him a motivation speech abt the supervisor being his best employee. Abt him being his right hand man in the near future, promoting him to manager level, bla, bla, bla. The guy decided to stay. PL immediately looked to hire another guy. One month after a new guy joined, the supervisor was fired.
PL told us, ‘That guy such a sohai! Never believe what your boss (management) tells you. No matter how many times they tell you how good you are, what they promise, etc. They are only looking after their own interest and will fark ur seefut when it’s in their interest. Always.’
U think true or not?
Comment by kat — 23 April 2009 @ 1:05 pm
You want to sambung besok? Ok. I sappot you.
Reply :Thanks for ur sappot! :P
Comment by kat — 23 April 2009 @ 1:08 pm
gay fren also can qualify mah…:-P
Reply : Can. Gay frens are the best. Especially when it comes to fassshion.
Comment by Blur Mama — 23 April 2009 @ 1:29 pm
I can really feel the sampat-ness and the Adrian-ness here but ur ending damn farking potong stim wei!!
I should get a gf a.s.a.p. who motivates me to study!!
Reply : U r looking for the wrong type of girl. U should be looking for a gf that ‘distracts’ you from ur studies! :P
Comment by Pookyma — 23 April 2009 @ 9:14 pm
waiyo so sampat la this post so i decided to write a sampat comment after being quiet so looong…
anyway i agree with you, to have someone to share your ups and downs is very important! it makes life seems worth living.. and you are not alone :)
Reply : I am not alone? Perhaps I should start a support group. :P
But it’s not the same getting support from a friend than your soul mate isn’t it?
Comment by evelyn — 24 April 2009 @ 12:25 am
how come arh, u never heard that “behind every successful woman there is a man”?
for a man, his kids are not enough to inspire him to work hard and succeed meh?
Reply : I’ve heard it before what. Got women tell me their success is due to the sacrifices of the hubs. One is a GM earning more than the hubs, so she say better the hubs just stay at home and jaga the anak (with maid of course). So everyday the hubs will fetch kids to & fro from school, to tuition etc. It’s my dream job.
Dats a trick question. If I say the kids enuff hor, u say this bastard marry to have kids only, dun wan the wife (Yeu chai mmm yew nar). Correct or not. :P :P :P
Comment by jjmm — 24 April 2009 @ 2:31 am
“Men are the most unbalanced creatures. Walk also senget wan. Noticed or not? Who keeps a man balanced? Only a woman can. Who can he turn to when something goes wrong? If he can’t, he’ll just keep it all inside. Only a woman can take care of a man’s emotional needs. Only a woman can inspire a man, give him motivation and be his reason to achieve something.”
dei!!ur quote boh ngam!Men like us.We macho men very stable one ok. *flex* *flex*
Reply : Oh yeah, yeah, yeah…. forget abt what i said. We are macho. GRRRRR… GRRRR *flex muscles, shakes buntut*
Comment by Pookyma — 24 April 2009 @ 10:46 am
wow, luckily ur dream job tak kesampaian…otherwise kesian ur anak have to eat rubbish everyday :b
where got trick question jek. i believe that for many women, having the kids alone [without any man] are more than enough to inspire her to work hard to succeed. if really have to choose, i’ll oso choose yew chai mm yew gung lor. :b
Reply : pssst. tell u a secret but dun tell anyone hor.
Those days with the wife off at work and I’m alone with the kids at home, the home is a total mess. We snack on the carpet, in front of the tv, cushions everywhere, we let the dog out, etc.
20 minutes b4 wifey’s scheduled to be back, we rush and scramble to clean the place up. Ahh… those were the days.
Comment by jjmm — 24 April 2009 @ 5:09 pm
I like your post becos it’s honest. My hubby and I are also at the crossroad between easy money (being employed) and starting our own business. At the moment, there is still no conclusion.
In the meantime, will just wait for your story’s 2nd installment. QUICKLAR!
Reply : Weight the pros and cons. Busy weekend ahead.
Comment by helen — 24 April 2009 @ 5:19 pm
:P just keypoh-ing… you had a debate with sasha on this topic izzit? she also blogged about this ‘Behind every succesful man is a woman’ wor… so coincident wan!
Reply : Hahahaha… Everyone reads dat phrase and have their own definition. I agree with her points also. There’s plenty of cases abt what she’s blogging about. Plenty of men ask their wives to sacrifice their career to stay home and take care of things and she’s never appreciated. Terbalik the case when a woman is in the man’s shoes, the marriage is unhappy pulak.
Comment by domesticgoddess — 24 April 2009 @ 6:22 pm
I agree with u in this… but then harh… no one is behind me to support n encourage me… then i mah cham?
Reply : U still young. Someone will show up sooner or later. :)
Comment by littlepolaris — 24 April 2009 @ 9:50 pm
Last time, hub’s company was a small one - less than 50 staff. His current one is more than 400, and aitelyu it’s a bloodbath here man!!! Like Freddy Krueger, Jason, Alien and Predator having a free-for-all liddat!! Damn rite abt management cakap ayam jantan. The worse thing abt them is they are so crever to twist and turn their words around, when you walk out of the meeting, you realise they have promised you nothing, answered none of your questions, and agreed to none of your requests. Mind you, ying-kok lohs are the main culprits here. Mei-kok lohs just shoot first and ask questions later. Which one easier to defend, I ask you?
Reply : Both ying kok and mei kok also I dun wan. Ying kok lous r snobbish and mei kok lous r rude.
Comment by kat — 25 April 2009 @ 12:43 pm
One question - If that woman who is suppose to be the pillar behind you left you… can you still be successful?
Reply : Yes of course you still can.
Comment by gnes — 27 April 2009 @ 12:41 pm
Sudah besok punya besok punya besok punya besok lah, brader.. Bila mau sambung?
Reply : Besok.
:P :P :P
Comment by kat — 27 April 2009 @ 5:15 pm
ya lor.. so many besok liao ..
Reply : Oklar, oklar. Besok. :P
Comment by janice — 28 April 2009 @ 2:03 pm
ya, we all need one good support. makes the going a bit easier and worthwhile. even one good friend is good enough. you’ve got v. don’t forget. :)
Reply : I don’t feel that we have gone to that stage yet.
Comment by mistipurple — 28 April 2009 @ 7:22 pm
“Only a woman can take care of a man’s emotional needs. Only a woman can inspire a man, give him motivation and be his reason to achieve something.”
I never thought that women can be so great le even though I am woman.
Buidling a business do needs time and patience..
Ehhh.. mana sambung stories le…
Reply : Of course! Without women, men mau makan apa? :P
Comment by keeyit — 3 May 2009 @ 3:42 pm