I told my son a few months ago when we went to B_Lalang about _Fast&Furious4_.  My son loves that series.  He has the dvds of all 3 previous F&Fs.  That’s the show that ignited his interest in cars.  He used to point out cars to me whenever we were out and about. "Wow! Look RX8!"  "Wow RX7! Niceleh!"  "Wow! Look Fairlady!"

So when I told him that F&F4 was coming to cinemas, he was excited.  He wanted to go watch it at the cinema.  I told him when it comes, I’ll bring him.

When I found out that F&F4 begins screening on the 2nd which is tomorrow, it was perfect.  Tomorrow is his birthday.

I called his mom and asked her if she was doing anything for him at his kindie.  Last year he had a small celebration there.  His mom said no.  "You think I like you so good no need to work ah!"  Fair enough.  It’s always more difficult when you’re holding a 9 to 5 job.  I asked if there was anything planned at all for him.  Got. Dinner with inlaws and then go back to blow cake.

I told her I wanted to pick up the kids tomorrow, go for lunch and just jalan-jalan.  She said no.  Mah fan.  I have not blogged about this but she has made arrangement for my kids to attend daycare on a daily basis.  Something she has said before that she doesn’t want for the kids.  She doesn’t want them to go on a daily basis because (dunno what reasons she gave before about the food la, the teachers la, the other kids la).  The daycare has transport to pick them up after school to the daycare centre.  So apparently it’s mah fan to call and tell them otherwise.

Nowadays, I’m not needed anymore to pick them up from school.  My plan has backfired.

Anyway, after some ting tong ting tong, she agreed but not without some conditions attached.  Me agreeing to have them back early for their dinner celebration.  Me ensuring her that it will only be the three of us (not four).  And finally me agreeing to give her my public holiday coupons.

I called everywhere and found that 1U_New_Wing has an afternoon show tomorrow.  I made a booking.  Gembira as hell until jump around and scratch buntut.  I called dotter’s hp and told them.  They thought I was playing an April Fool’s joke on them. 

My son kept asking me, "Sure or not? Sure? Pohmiss?"  He was also gembira as hell but dunno whether he got scratch buntut or not. :P

I thought about it and it was going to be a rush tomorrow because after they get off from school, we’d have to rush over to pick up the tickets.  I decided to go over this evening to pick up the tics.  I line up (again waiting in line :P) and when it was my turn, I lansi-ly walked up to the counter, swaying both my hands from side to side, sneering at the guy beside me, softly murmuring, "I’m watching F&F4 tomollo"

I tell the girl over the counter my booking number and I told her 1 adult, two kids.  You know what she said?

"Sorry hensem-hensem man, but kids are not allowed to watch this movie"

Me blur as hell could only blurt out, "Huh?"  Thinking is she trying to play me an April Fools joke or what?  Am I on wakenabeb or wat?

She tells me that F&F4 is rated 18PL as if I knew what that meant.  Apparently it means the movie is not suitable for kids.  I told her it’s ok, I’m their father and I approve this message.  "No kenot sir".  What!?

Not suitable means not suitable.  Kenot discuss.  I’m still thinking what the heck is happening?  Should I slip her a 50 ringgit note like in the movies or what, baru I can get the tics.

I tell her but I’m going to accompany them and when there’s unsuitable scenes I will quickly put a blanket over their heads, like that can or not?
No kenot sir.

Then how only can?
No kenot sir.

Ok, I buy adult tickets then.
No kenot sir.  (Apparently they won’t let you in)

I buy adult tickets and dress my kids as adults.
No kenot sir.

I let you touch my hair.
No kenot sir.

I want to see the manager.
Dat one can.

After 20 minutes with the manager, who was apologetic for my cause, I still got the same response.  No kenot sir.

I tell him to just let it slide for once.  Can get reward in heaven.  No kenot sir.

I tell him to let’s pretend we never had this conversation.  I go buy three adult tickets.  Tomorrow I come with my kids and we just buat dunno.  No kenot sir.  They will not allow me in and will replace with another movie.

I tell him my situation, give password to my post.  I tell him it’s my son’s birthday tomorrow.  I kenot disappoint my son.  Even though I put on my whole ten cent face, almost in tears, also the same response.  No kenot sir.

The reason he is not bulging is that they have kena fined before.  Enforcement officers actually came and conducted spot checks.  So what to do.  I also understand his situation.  If they kena again, it’s his job on the line.  He also got two kids.

So how?  Tomorrow have to break the news to the poor kid.  Tomorrow even if we eat sharkfin and abalone for lunch also will not make up for his disappointment of not catching F&F4.

No kenot sir!

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If you haven’t guessed it by now, I’ve brought up the divorce issue with wifey.  An opportunity presented itself before X’mas.  The kids were away.  My wife asked me about X’mas plans and I told her about V.  It was a hard thing to do.  My head felt like it was in a pressure cooker.  Anyway, I don’t feel like talking about it now.

But in the end, I didn’t get to spend X’mas with the kids but I managed to ‘kidnap’ them on X’mas Eve. :P

V took dotter to 1 Utama where she pampered dotter with a haircut & rebonding, a manicure and some serious shopping.  I feel V is just trying so hard to get into the kids’ good books.  Worried that they might not accept her or something.

My son and I stayed back and went to the pool instead.  When they got back, dotter also wanted to swim.  I told her no because she had just spent a fortune on her hair but her Auntie V said it was ok (Trying hard again).  RM300+ flushed down the drain.

V had made reservations at one of my absolute favorite restaurants in Bangsar for dinner and had called to increase the seating for two kids.  But come dinner time, the kids pestered to go to the_Ship instead.

I absolutely pening to go to the_Ship_Damansara on such occasions.  First they never accept reservations.  Second, it’s always hard to find parking.  Lastly, people seem to flock there and prefer to wait in line even though they know it will be jammed packed.

I dropped V and dotter off at the entrance while my son and I went around finding parking.

While we were walking pass some pubs there, there were three lovely ladies standing outside one of the pubs.  They were some beer promoter and you know they dress to kill, in short minis and all.  So we were walking pass them and my son commented to me, "Pheet weet… lenglui hor?"  The ladies laughed and one said to me in Cantonese, "So young oledi so sai lek (so terror)."  Walking away my son asked me why we were not eating there instead? :P

I wonder if I will get to experience such moments with my best friend again in the future.

After dinner, V suggested we take the kids over to Laundry_The_Curve for drinks but the jam was horrendous.  It was almost impossible and we decided to give up and turned back to V’s apartment.  The kids spent the night there with us.  My wife was ‘not pleased’ but I had to be selfish.  I promised my wife that she could have them back first thing tomorrow morning.

The next morning, my kids said goodbye to their Auntie V and when they hugged her, V cried.  My kids kept asking why she was crying.

I told the kids to leave all the stuff that V had bought for them at the apartment.  I don’t know whether my wife would burn them if she found out it was from V.  :P

So how was your X’mas?

This afternoon I was on my notebook while my kids were watching a movie.  They were watching a movie about a boy who sent a message to space for aliens to come and take him away.  It’s a old Disney movie (dunno what’s the title).  When the aliens finally came, the boy who wasn’t a popular kid in school started having second thoughts because he had grown close to a girl that he had a crush on at school.  

Halfway through my dotter comments "This girl quite leng lui lar."

My son who was half watching and half playing with his cars responded with "Where got leng lui! The nen-nen not big also!"

Really give him jah dou. :P

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I often tease my son by asking him which girl he liked in class or at his day care nursery and he would tell me a name.  I would ask him why he liked her and he would give me some reason like "She smile very nice lar… very cute." :P  

There’s this girl at his nursery who he is very close with and his teacher would tease him by saying that the girl was his girlfriend.  Even my dotter would tell me the same whenever I went to pick them up, "Neh… this wan is his girlfriend lor…"  My son would then smile sheepishly just like a moron. :P

Once he kissed the girl on the cheeks and even though it was one of those innocent things that kids do, the teacher had to tell him to not do it again.  I agreed with what the teacher did.  Even though it was innocent, you never know how the girl’s parents would react.

My son asked me why it was wrong to kiss the girl.  The teacher said it was wrong for a boy to kiss a girl.  He said it was just a kiss on the face and not on the lips.  He didn’t understand why it was wrong to kiss the girl because he also kissed mommy, guama, auntie V, etc, etc before.  He was innocent.

Today I went to pick up my son from kindie, something I hadn’t done for the past few weeks.  Today’s the last day of school and while we were leaving, my son said his goodbyes to his friends.  He seems to have more girl friends than boys buthen again there are more girls than boys in his class.  One of the girls said bye-bye and then blew him a kiss.  My son as usual had that sheepish grin on his face, just like a moron. :P

While in the car, I asked him about his love life (since it’s been sometime since I last picked him up from kindie).

His reaction to my question was to pump his fist in the air and shout "I WILL SUCCESS!" (yes, he said success) :P

WTF was dat!?  Kids do the darnest things?  I dunno.  I’m clueless.  Maybe he has too much of my sot sot dei genes in him. :P

But I just wanted all of you to know that my son is already messed up and it will not be because of me getting a divorce from wifey. :P

Apologize for the long post.  Initially just wanted to post about dotter’s results but ended up straying from topic.  To make things worst, I always said that I would blog about the feud between wifey and her parents but never did.  Now you’re going to be more confused. :P

Anyway. 

Have you noticed that there hasn’t been a tulan post about the wifey for some time now.  As a matter of fact, things have been very peaceful at home.  There’s a huge improvement in the wifey’s relationship with the kids.  I think there are two reasons for this.  One is due to my recent working trip away from home.  Without me around, wifey gets the kids all to herself.  A lot of things can happen in two months.  

But I think the main reason is because the feud with her parents is officially over.  All that has happened before is now forgotten.  Together with the kids, wifey has been going out with her parents quite often.  She has been enjoying shopping with her sister.  Something she did quite often before the feud started.  These days, wifey has toned down somewhat.

My dotter recently got her latest exam results and she did very poorly.  The worst she’s ever done.  Not even a single A.  You all know I don’t care much for As but this time I was disappointed because she just managed to scrape through.  And this time round, she has been attending a study group organized by some of the other parents.  The other kids did extremely well except for my dotter.

I thought of giving dotter a piece of my mind but decided not to because we all know what’s in store for her when her mother finds out.  As usual dotter was worried when she got her results.

But you know what.  Wifey only sounded the dotter but there was none of the usual ballistic bombardment of abuse.  It’s like watching a movie on a pc with cheap Taiwanese speakers as compared to a full blown entertainment system.  I was so surprised I had to read my archives to remind myself what wifey was like before!

I was even more surprised when I heard wifey’s target for dotter’s final exams this coming October.  Instead of yelling out "I want to see all As!!!", she told dotter it doesn’t matter whether she scored As or not.  She just wants dotter to do well enough so that she can stay in one of the two smart classes next year, preferably the same smart class now.  The top 40 students from the whole of last year goes to my dotter’s current class.  Wifey even offered to buy dotter one of those mini Asus laptops if she managed to meet her target.

Did I say I was surprised?  I should really say I was shocked!  The first thing that came to my mind was "What the kucakucikucak is this!? I want a Asus laptop too!"

I had told wifey before that this (dotter doing poorly in her exams) was going to happen.  I told wifey that dotter was distracted.  Ever since my inlaws came back into the picture, dotter has been going out with them.  Sometimes until 2am in the morning.  I feel it’s not appropriate for me to tell my inlaws off.  Wifey should be the one to say it to her parents but she didn’t.  I think wifey is just happy to see that her parents are back in her life again.

I should be happy too but…… I can’t find it in me to be happy.  I still can’t let go of what happened the past few years.  I still remember the things that happened with the feud.  I still feel bitter about the whole situation.  I still feel bitter about how my son was blamed for starting the feud.  How we were blamed for everything. 

I didn’t want to get involve in the feud although I should.  I told wifey at that time, she didn’t do wrong.  I’m on her side but I shouldn’t get involved because it involves her parents and her siblings.  Own family policy.  I handle my parents, she handle her parents. 

So the feud started and I would get updates.  Bits and pieces of it.  Most times wifey would either come back in tears or raging mad.  Some times we had to attend dinners with her grandparents and her parents were there as well, I still greeted my inlaws.  My wife had stopped talking to them altogether.  Many things happened which I wouldn’t go into.  But that was the way things were.  I stayed out of it in the sense that I was not in the battle.  I didn’t bite each time I saw my inlaws.  I continued to be polite and showed them respect (although I lost my respect for them).

But a few years ago when things were still very heated between my wife and my inlaws, with them constantly biting each other’s neck, I received a call from my FIL.  I could hear he was angry and he told me to not go to sleep yet because he wanted to drop by.

Moments later my inlaws and my brother in-law stormed into our home.  It was already past midnight but my MIL didn’t hold back.  She hurled insults at my wife.  She was loud and quite lansi.  It woke up the kids.  I pulled my son to the maid while dotter stood with wifey.  My MIL didn’t care that dotter was there, she continued to hurl insults at wifey.  These things shouldn’t be said in front of dotter but MIL said it anyway.  She shouted at wifey to go die.  To eat shit.  Those were the polite ones.

I stood there and looked at my wife, waiting for her to bite back.  My blood was already boiling.  First my MIL was extremely lansi.  Like Mah-mah in Moonlight Resonance like dat.  Most importantly, MIL shouldn’t say those things about wifey in front of dotter.  My inlaws should have pulled wifey aside if they wanted to have a go at her.  My dotter adores her grandparents.  My dotter lost some respect for wifey that night simply because of what her grandmother said about her mother.

Lastly, this is my house.  You come into my house in an aggressive nature looking for a fight in the middle of the night.  As loud as you can be.  So loud that even my neighbours could hear the commotion.  Obviously MIL wanted to tell everyone what she thought about wifey.

Anyway, I was waiting and waiting and wifey didn’t do anything.  She just kept looking at dotter while my MIL kept on farking her while my FIL and BIL added their pinch of salt.  After they were done, my MIL in the most ‘lansiest’ way stood up and told her gang to leave, "Aiyah, let’s go lah! Waste my time talking to a piece of shit!"

I don’t know what it was but something in me snapped.  I couldn’t let them come and go as they liked, farked us as they liked, without giving them a piece of my mind.  The worst in me broke through.  I farked back.  I banged the table and I think I knocked a chair into the wall, among other things.  My maid came out to pick up and pity her kena from me for no reason at all.  Saja want to add to the drama.

I shouted at them in such a rage, my throat hurt the next day.  My inlaws were shocked.  They always said I was this respectful and mild mannered guy.  I told my inlaws to never speak to my kids again.  I told them to never call again.  We were cutting off ties with them (they had threatened us with this).

My FIL tried to explain that they were just trying to make peace between them and wifey.  I found that to be so pathetic.  The moment they stormed in, there were no signs that they were there for peace talks.  Their actions and body language were aggressive and clearly showed they were there for a fight.  They immediately started shouting at wifey.  Apa peace?

They told me that they just wanted to help me teach my wife.  She had been out of line (during the feud) and doesn’t know how to respect elders.  But honestly, I don’t feel my wife was at fault for the feud.  I understood her actions.  I felt it was justified.  I asked my inlaws to leave.

That night wifey apologized to me.  She was hurting.  She hated her parents.  She said that she had already cut ties with them but her mom kept on picking fights with her, provoking her.  I told wifey to just ignore her mom in the future if she continues to provoke her.  No need to be arrogant about it.  Just ignore what she says and walk away. 

From that night onwards, there were no more incidents.  I continued to be respectful whenever I would bump into them at family functions.  In front of everyone, I would greet them "Pa, Ma" and that was it.  I told my kids to greet their grandparents.  Wifey continued to ignore them.  Things were so ‘min chor-chor’ that wifey’s aunts decided to only invite either us or them for future functions.  Most of the time, it was us because they were closer to wifey.

Since then my inlaws kena lottery.  Business boomed.  They became slightly wealthier.  My BIL and SIL enjoyed their parents luck while we continued to stay away.  We refused their gifts for our kids (remember I wan iPhone).  While BIL and SIL kept asking them for things, we never did.  My inlaws admire us for our principles.  We never looked at their wealth.  We never asked for anything or wanted a piece of it.  (Actually I wouldn’t mind a Nissan 350Z :P)

Although things are good, my FIL regrets what had happened between them and wifey.  He wants to see all their children getting along again.  What’s the point of having a million ringgit home when your children and grand-kids can’t sit at the same table.  So this year with the help of wifey’s aunts, they have been slowly mending the relationship.  They know about my relationship with the wifey.  They know about me asking for a divorce.  As parents, they do worry about their daughter.

Anyway to cut a long story short, the feud has now ended.  My wife and kids and my inlaws all got hehe-haha now. 

Like I said, I should be happy.  But I still feel bitter.  It’s still there.  Every time I think of my son’s sad face when they said it was his fault, I can’t let it go.  Forgive and forget they say but I just can’t bring myself to do it…. yet.  How can I when it still feel this bitter.

ps: Would Mamma Mia! take away the bitterness? :P

I’m in Bangkok right now for work.  I received a video call this evening from my dotter telling me that my son came back from nursery feeling ‘very, very sad’.  He had been bullied by a boy three years older than him.

My son was sitting on the floor waiting for my brother to come pick him up when this boy walked passed him and kicked my son’s leg.  My son protested and the boy punched my son’s arm.

I asked my son why he didn’t punch back.  We’ve had this talk before about the types of bullies and when it is ok to defend himself.  Hey, he’s my son.  I’ll teach him the way I want to teach him.  Don’t judge ok. :P

He said that the boy was much stronger and bigger than him and could punch really hard.  My son was in tears when he was talking to me.

I then asked him why didn’t he report the boy to the nursery teacher to which he said that he did tell the teacher but the teacher just waved her hand in my son’s face (he showed me how the teacher waved her hand) and told him "I don’t care. Get lost." 

Now tell me if it was your kid, how would you react?

I’m not so tulan about my son being bullied.  It’s something that happens with kids.

But the way the teacher reacted was totally fucked up!  She is supposed to look after the kids, protect them and care for them.  How could she just wave her hand and say that she didn’t care!?  On top of that, she told my son to get lost!  I was raging mad.  I was pissed mad.

I angrily asked my son which teacher and he said he didn’t know her name.  She was a teacher from the office.  The nursery my son goes to is only open until 6.30pm.  If you don’t pick up your kid after that time, they will bring the kids over to the office building which is also a tuition centre for bigger kids.  Parents will go there to pick up their kids after 6.30pm.  So he was sent there when my brother came to pick him up at 6.45pm. 

My son doesn’t know the teacher’s name but he described her to me.  She was wearing a pink sweater and a white skirt, long hair and no glasses.  My dotter confirms this because she was the one who went up to get him and saw the teacher sitting at the front desk.

Now I was really, really mad at what had happened and wanted to give the teacher a piece of my mind.  But without a name it was going to be hard.  Unless I call the nursery up right now and ask for the name of the teacher with the pink sweater and white skirt.  And that’s what I did. 

I called the nursery from the privacy of my hotel room in Bangkok.  It rang and rang and rang and then a lady picked up the phone.  I told her who I was and demanded to know the name of the teacher with the pink sweater and white skirt.  I was loud and I was angry.

She asked me what was the problem and I said that I wanted to know the name of that teacher.  She asked me to wait and after like a minute or so, transferred my call to the principal, a Mr. D.  I had met Mr.D before when we came to check out the nursery.

Mr. D asked me for my name and I told him who I was.  He asked me what was the problem and I burst out at him.  I told him what had happened.  I was angry.  I was loud.  I was rude.  And I was cursing.

"How the fuck can she say that to my son!!"
"What kind of fucked up teachers are you employing there!!"

I used the word fuck alot in my sentences.  Like I said I was really really angry.  From the video call, I could see that my son was really affected by what had happened.  Really demoralized.  And I angrily told the principal so.

The principal asked me to calm down and said that he would talk to the teacher about it and would inform me later.

A few hours passed and I received another call.  This time it was from my wife.  My dotter had told her about what had happened to my son.  I told her that I had called the nursery up and spoke to the principal about the teacher.

My wife asked me "What teacher?"  I told her about the teacher in the pink sweater and white skirt that had told my son to get lost.  My wife blankly looked at me and said that "I asked him.  He said he never told any teacher about the boy."

"WHAT!? Call the little fella here."

My son comes to the phone and I asked him again.  This time, he said he didn’t tell the teacher.  He had lied to me.  I was angry when I asked him if he had told any teacher and he was afraid that I would be angry at him because he hadn’t so he lied.

KAAA BOOOOM!

You tell me where I’m going to put my face now.