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I got a message yesterday from my dotter saying that she had made a Valentine’s Day card for me.  I replied that I will collect it whenever I see her, hopefully next week.  She replied back "Then I better make a card for Mommy also if not she ‘chow pei hei’ again." :P

 

Now allow me to dedicate a song for all my female readers.  Valentine’s Day marh…. ;)

Kakakakakakaka… :P :P :P

If you haven’t guessed it by now, I’ve brought up the divorce issue with wifey.  An opportunity presented itself before X’mas.  The kids were away.  My wife asked me about X’mas plans and I told her about V.  It was a hard thing to do.  My head felt like it was in a pressure cooker.  Anyway, I don’t feel like talking about it now.

But in the end, I didn’t get to spend X’mas with the kids but I managed to ‘kidnap’ them on X’mas Eve. :P

V took dotter to 1 Utama where she pampered dotter with a haircut & rebonding, a manicure and some serious shopping.  I feel V is just trying so hard to get into the kids’ good books.  Worried that they might not accept her or something.

My son and I stayed back and went to the pool instead.  When they got back, dotter also wanted to swim.  I told her no because she had just spent a fortune on her hair but her Auntie V said it was ok (Trying hard again).  RM300+ flushed down the drain.

V had made reservations at one of my absolute favorite restaurants in Bangsar for dinner and had called to increase the seating for two kids.  But come dinner time, the kids pestered to go to the_Ship instead.

I absolutely pening to go to the_Ship_Damansara on such occasions.  First they never accept reservations.  Second, it’s always hard to find parking.  Lastly, people seem to flock there and prefer to wait in line even though they know it will be jammed packed.

I dropped V and dotter off at the entrance while my son and I went around finding parking.

While we were walking pass some pubs there, there were three lovely ladies standing outside one of the pubs.  They were some beer promoter and you know they dress to kill, in short minis and all.  So we were walking pass them and my son commented to me, "Pheet weet… lenglui hor?"  The ladies laughed and one said to me in Cantonese, "So young oledi so sai lek (so terror)."  Walking away my son asked me why we were not eating there instead? :P

I wonder if I will get to experience such moments with my best friend again in the future.

After dinner, V suggested we take the kids over to Laundry_The_Curve for drinks but the jam was horrendous.  It was almost impossible and we decided to give up and turned back to V’s apartment.  The kids spent the night there with us.  My wife was ‘not pleased’ but I had to be selfish.  I promised my wife that she could have them back first thing tomorrow morning.

The next morning, my kids said goodbye to their Auntie V and when they hugged her, V cried.  My kids kept asking why she was crying.

I told the kids to leave all the stuff that V had bought for them at the apartment.  I don’t know whether my wife would burn them if she found out it was from V.  :P

So how was your X’mas?

This afternoon I was on my notebook while my kids were watching a movie.  They were watching a movie about a boy who sent a message to space for aliens to come and take him away.  It’s a old Disney movie (dunno what’s the title).  When the aliens finally came, the boy who wasn’t a popular kid in school started having second thoughts because he had grown close to a girl that he had a crush on at school.  

Halfway through my dotter comments "This girl quite leng lui lar."

My son who was half watching and half playing with his cars responded with "Where got leng lui! The nen-nen not big also!"

Really give him jah dou. :P

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Anyone seen the movie - the Wedding Singer?  In my opinion one of Adam Sandler’s better movies.   Anyone know where I can get DVD copies?  Uncle Ho has no idea what I’m talking about. :P

Sandler performing at a wedding right after being left heartbroken at the altar. Hilarious!

Winning the main lady’s heart with this song.

I wanna grow old with you

I wanna make you smile whenever you’re sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you

Ill get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growing old with you

I’ll miss you
I’ll kiss you
Give you my coat when you are cold

I’ll need you
I’ll feed you
Even let ya hold the remote control

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed if you’ve had too much to drink
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

Apologize for the long post.  Initially just wanted to post about dotter’s results but ended up straying from topic.  To make things worst, I always said that I would blog about the feud between wifey and her parents but never did.  Now you’re going to be more confused. :P

Anyway. 

Have you noticed that there hasn’t been a tulan post about the wifey for some time now.  As a matter of fact, things have been very peaceful at home.  There’s a huge improvement in the wifey’s relationship with the kids.  I think there are two reasons for this.  One is due to my recent working trip away from home.  Without me around, wifey gets the kids all to herself.  A lot of things can happen in two months.  

But I think the main reason is because the feud with her parents is officially over.  All that has happened before is now forgotten.  Together with the kids, wifey has been going out with her parents quite often.  She has been enjoying shopping with her sister.  Something she did quite often before the feud started.  These days, wifey has toned down somewhat.

My dotter recently got her latest exam results and she did very poorly.  The worst she’s ever done.  Not even a single A.  You all know I don’t care much for As but this time I was disappointed because she just managed to scrape through.  And this time round, she has been attending a study group organized by some of the other parents.  The other kids did extremely well except for my dotter.

I thought of giving dotter a piece of my mind but decided not to because we all know what’s in store for her when her mother finds out.  As usual dotter was worried when she got her results.

But you know what.  Wifey only sounded the dotter but there was none of the usual ballistic bombardment of abuse.  It’s like watching a movie on a pc with cheap Taiwanese speakers as compared to a full blown entertainment system.  I was so surprised I had to read my archives to remind myself what wifey was like before!

I was even more surprised when I heard wifey’s target for dotter’s final exams this coming October.  Instead of yelling out "I want to see all As!!!", she told dotter it doesn’t matter whether she scored As or not.  She just wants dotter to do well enough so that she can stay in one of the two smart classes next year, preferably the same smart class now.  The top 40 students from the whole of last year goes to my dotter’s current class.  Wifey even offered to buy dotter one of those mini Asus laptops if she managed to meet her target.

Did I say I was surprised?  I should really say I was shocked!  The first thing that came to my mind was "What the kucakucikucak is this!? I want a Asus laptop too!"

I had told wifey before that this (dotter doing poorly in her exams) was going to happen.  I told wifey that dotter was distracted.  Ever since my inlaws came back into the picture, dotter has been going out with them.  Sometimes until 2am in the morning.  I feel it’s not appropriate for me to tell my inlaws off.  Wifey should be the one to say it to her parents but she didn’t.  I think wifey is just happy to see that her parents are back in her life again.

I should be happy too but…… I can’t find it in me to be happy.  I still can’t let go of what happened the past few years.  I still remember the things that happened with the feud.  I still feel bitter about the whole situation.  I still feel bitter about how my son was blamed for starting the feud.  How we were blamed for everything. 

I didn’t want to get involve in the feud although I should.  I told wifey at that time, she didn’t do wrong.  I’m on her side but I shouldn’t get involved because it involves her parents and her siblings.  Own family policy.  I handle my parents, she handle her parents. 

So the feud started and I would get updates.  Bits and pieces of it.  Most times wifey would either come back in tears or raging mad.  Some times we had to attend dinners with her grandparents and her parents were there as well, I still greeted my inlaws.  My wife had stopped talking to them altogether.  Many things happened which I wouldn’t go into.  But that was the way things were.  I stayed out of it in the sense that I was not in the battle.  I didn’t bite each time I saw my inlaws.  I continued to be polite and showed them respect (although I lost my respect for them).

But a few years ago when things were still very heated between my wife and my inlaws, with them constantly biting each other’s neck, I received a call from my FIL.  I could hear he was angry and he told me to not go to sleep yet because he wanted to drop by.

Moments later my inlaws and my brother in-law stormed into our home.  It was already past midnight but my MIL didn’t hold back.  She hurled insults at my wife.  She was loud and quite lansi.  It woke up the kids.  I pulled my son to the maid while dotter stood with wifey.  My MIL didn’t care that dotter was there, she continued to hurl insults at wifey.  These things shouldn’t be said in front of dotter but MIL said it anyway.  She shouted at wifey to go die.  To eat shit.  Those were the polite ones.

I stood there and looked at my wife, waiting for her to bite back.  My blood was already boiling.  First my MIL was extremely lansi.  Like Mah-mah in Moonlight Resonance like dat.  Most importantly, MIL shouldn’t say those things about wifey in front of dotter.  My inlaws should have pulled wifey aside if they wanted to have a go at her.  My dotter adores her grandparents.  My dotter lost some respect for wifey that night simply because of what her grandmother said about her mother.

Lastly, this is my house.  You come into my house in an aggressive nature looking for a fight in the middle of the night.  As loud as you can be.  So loud that even my neighbours could hear the commotion.  Obviously MIL wanted to tell everyone what she thought about wifey.

Anyway, I was waiting and waiting and wifey didn’t do anything.  She just kept looking at dotter while my MIL kept on farking her while my FIL and BIL added their pinch of salt.  After they were done, my MIL in the most ‘lansiest’ way stood up and told her gang to leave, "Aiyah, let’s go lah! Waste my time talking to a piece of shit!"

I don’t know what it was but something in me snapped.  I couldn’t let them come and go as they liked, farked us as they liked, without giving them a piece of my mind.  The worst in me broke through.  I farked back.  I banged the table and I think I knocked a chair into the wall, among other things.  My maid came out to pick up and pity her kena from me for no reason at all.  Saja want to add to the drama.

I shouted at them in such a rage, my throat hurt the next day.  My inlaws were shocked.  They always said I was this respectful and mild mannered guy.  I told my inlaws to never speak to my kids again.  I told them to never call again.  We were cutting off ties with them (they had threatened us with this).

My FIL tried to explain that they were just trying to make peace between them and wifey.  I found that to be so pathetic.  The moment they stormed in, there were no signs that they were there for peace talks.  Their actions and body language were aggressive and clearly showed they were there for a fight.  They immediately started shouting at wifey.  Apa peace?

They told me that they just wanted to help me teach my wife.  She had been out of line (during the feud) and doesn’t know how to respect elders.  But honestly, I don’t feel my wife was at fault for the feud.  I understood her actions.  I felt it was justified.  I asked my inlaws to leave.

That night wifey apologized to me.  She was hurting.  She hated her parents.  She said that she had already cut ties with them but her mom kept on picking fights with her, provoking her.  I told wifey to just ignore her mom in the future if she continues to provoke her.  No need to be arrogant about it.  Just ignore what she says and walk away. 

From that night onwards, there were no more incidents.  I continued to be respectful whenever I would bump into them at family functions.  In front of everyone, I would greet them "Pa, Ma" and that was it.  I told my kids to greet their grandparents.  Wifey continued to ignore them.  Things were so ‘min chor-chor’ that wifey’s aunts decided to only invite either us or them for future functions.  Most of the time, it was us because they were closer to wifey.

Since then my inlaws kena lottery.  Business boomed.  They became slightly wealthier.  My BIL and SIL enjoyed their parents luck while we continued to stay away.  We refused their gifts for our kids (remember I wan iPhone).  While BIL and SIL kept asking them for things, we never did.  My inlaws admire us for our principles.  We never looked at their wealth.  We never asked for anything or wanted a piece of it.  (Actually I wouldn’t mind a Nissan 350Z :P)

Although things are good, my FIL regrets what had happened between them and wifey.  He wants to see all their children getting along again.  What’s the point of having a million ringgit home when your children and grand-kids can’t sit at the same table.  So this year with the help of wifey’s aunts, they have been slowly mending the relationship.  They know about my relationship with the wifey.  They know about me asking for a divorce.  As parents, they do worry about their daughter.

Anyway to cut a long story short, the feud has now ended.  My wife and kids and my inlaws all got hehe-haha now. 

Like I said, I should be happy.  But I still feel bitter.  It’s still there.  Every time I think of my son’s sad face when they said it was his fault, I can’t let it go.  Forgive and forget they say but I just can’t bring myself to do it…. yet.  How can I when it still feel this bitter.

ps: Would Mamma Mia! take away the bitterness? :P

I didn’t mention this in the previous post but I’ve talked with my dotter before about sex, where babies come from and what’s right and wrong.  That’s the reason why she was afraid that I would walk in on her.  She knew it was wrong.

I’ve told my dotter before that when a man sleeps with a woman and both starts to ‘hamsup’ then they’ll end up making babies.  By law, you can only have babies if you’re married.  She asked me, "If the man and woman lock the door, how the police going to know?"  Niamah.

So I told her that it was morally wrong.  God knows.  Then she accepted it.  Sometimes it seems easier to use God to explain things to her.  This is a good thing as far as I’m concerned.  I’m ashamed to admit it but she’s much more devoted to her faith then I am.

I’ve also told her that no one should touch her private part.  No one should touch her in a hamsup way.  Not teachers, cousins, uncles, not even Gua Kong or Yeh-yeh.  And if someone told her to keep a secret, she should immediately tell me.

I made up a story about a young girl that was passing through a field one day and was grabbed by her neighbour, her dad’s best friend.  He hamsup-ed her and I told it as horrifying for her as possible.  He pushed her down and ripped her clothes off.  She cried but he didn’t care.  He touched her ’shame-shame’.  I felt I needed to tell it that way so she would realise that it is a very, very bad thing.

He told her to not tell anyone.  To keep it a secret.  He told her if she told anyone, he would kill her parents.  Besides, he was her dad’s best friend.  No one would believe her anyway.  The girl was afraid and didn’t tell anyone.  She wanted to protect her parents.

But in the end, the neighbour killed her parents anyway.  Because people who touch you and tell you to keep it a secret are liars and evil.  I told it with much more details like a horror story, that my dotter got the point.  Anyway…

I talked with her again yesterday about the porn clip.  About what she saw.  Of all places, we went to that NZ Natural ice cream place nearby.  What’s better than talking about sex over some ice-cream rite?

I explained that it was a hamsup show, bla, bla, bla.  She asked me why the woman was kissing the man’s kkj and the man was kissing the woman’s pet-pet.  Die meh!  This type of question!  Takkan I have to explain to my dotter about oral sex, rite or not?  I just told her that when you love someone you kiss them on the mouth.  When you just want to hamsup someone you kiss them there.  But just wanting to hamsup someone is wrong.

What!?  What was I supposed to tell her!?  I couldn’t think of anything better to say ok.  Was I suppose to tell her that it was part of foreplay to arouse someone before sex?  Besides, there were two aunties sitting next to us. :P

You know what she asked me then?

"Do you kiss mommy’s pet-pet?"  Walaueh!  Both aunties also looked at me.  *sweats*

My answer was "Do you want any drinks?" Kakakakakaka.  Really sweating I tellu.  But my answer was….. it’s private between me and my dotter. :P

Overall she was quite curious and some questions were actually quite funny.  I answered them as honestly as I could.

She asked me why the woman was pulling her own hair?  Why the woman was jumping so hard on the man’s kkj, the man no pain wan meh?  Why the woman was screaming "Ahh.. ahh.. ahh..", the woman pain arh?  Why they hamsup on the sofa and not the bed?  Why the man’s kkj got put plastic bag(condom) wan?

And I laughed so hard when she said "Next time I marry arh… I wan my husband kkj to be not so ugly wan… I wan like J’s(her brother) kkj like dat wan… so clean and cute and no bulu-bulu wan."  AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH! :P